Why Smart People face difficulty in finding a Partner?

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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

To change the world takes time. To change yourself takes courage. R.S. Lowel

As a child, or I would rather say every child, grew up hearing stories of fairies, princes on white horses and happy endings. One day a prince charming will come and will take you on a ride on his horse and after ride, it is going to be a dinner full of sweets, candies and so on. Ahh! Nice thoughts, isn’t it? After we turn a teen from a child, we all wanted to have our own tale. But, behind the curtains, there is someone else; someone who is on its marks to trash our dreams harshly. With our relationships, we try to be as rational as we can, while building our career, while making money and while climbing up the stairs of our own defined success tower. But, don’t you think, in the race we are ignoring the importance of someone special; someone whom we can surrender. And, the irony is – it’s only smart people who suffer; who find it difficult to have a right partner for them. In addition, the worst part is – most of the obstacles are created by us only.

You’re strong, you’re independent. Seriously? 

“Smart people, you think you are strong, you’re independent and you do not need a shoulder to cry when you have problems.” Let me tell you, if you think being ice means being strong, then I would like to apologize for breaking your bubble that you live in; I am sorry, you are probably not clever enough and this is nothing, but a facade. The truth is – you are just lonely, and this is a result of the fear that lies somewhere in you; the fear of being injured and the reason is – emotional immaturity. Desiring to become a mature and rational person, you often associate this with a very extreme independence. Like other smart people, you also pretend removing any kind of emotional blockage that represent you like a thin person, but in reality- it is a confrontation between your emotion and courage.

You do not want to make compromises for the sake of anyone

Relationships work only when the partners are equally involved and when the reach at a consensus through compromises. As you are living in the confusion of being smart, you have already constructed a wall around you ; a pattern of habits and wishes. Being one among other smart people, you already know what actions are going to match your values, and the arrival of a new person would do interruptions to your made “rituals”. Should you really want a nice partner, you must consider “negotiation” as seriously as you can because belief has to be from both sides. You should not be justifying yourself for the things and habit on which you have invested a lot and discovered it hard to change yourself for the sake of someone. Instead, you should try making small changes.

No time for love

We work to build ‘castles’, we work hard every day to have a successful career. But, in the process, we forget to think about the personal aspect of our lives. We fail to realize, but with the time we all are becoming machines who are working constantly, deprive of emotions and love in the heart. We work hard to have our name in the field we are operating. Work programs, ridiculous working hours, is eating all the time that we should otherwise be spending on ourselves, with friends and for our social life. It is very good that you use your capabilities to the maximum, but you have to know how to create a balance between personal and professional life. If you fill a personal void with professional life, you will not get anywhere!

Start by doing what is necessary. Then, what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.Francis of Assisi

If you do not get attached, do not risk being hurt

Relationships ask for feelings, whether you want it or not. I don’t need to tell you that these feelings come with its risks. But, if we let this led creed, we will never succeed in keeping people around us. Your strength is not in your ability to be more detached, but the courage to entrust your feelings.

You worked too hard to slow the pace now

After you pass a certain point, you need to think that you’ve worked too hard and gave up everything. If you have dedicated your entire adult life to the career, no doubt you will be at a peak point of your career, but at the same time, you are going to miss the rhythm of your young age that you have now. People rarely fall in love after they have gray. You must understand that for a relationship, you need a lot of personal investment. And, you should know this before it’s too late. After all, the real life begins after doing work and toward that life, you have some responsibilities.

You’re far too intellectual to accept sentiments

The basic rule of the universe is the balance. And, if it is not intended by us, it is required by nature and environment etc. This is the case of the cognitive and emotional intelligence. For people with a highly developed cognitive intelligence, he is going to lack sensitivity to the chapter. It is our emotional intelligence and our maturity that tells us that those cute gestures that are bundled with relationships, share no good place in our lives. Our mind must be kept clean and keen, and completely free from all mixtures of childish thoughts. That said, if you really tend toward a complete personal development, must like experiencing all aspects of life.

Love is not defined by the partners in helping your weaknesses, however, constant support is a quality of any healthy relationship. You can still do on their own, which can be considered the most appealing feature that your partner sees in you. If you are not finding a right partner for you, then a self-evaluation is a must; a little change in you mean a drastic change in the situations around you. Should you start enjoying even the simplest idea that someone is there for you if ever you need anything, trust me, this is going to offer you the peace of mind and let you motivate to achieve your goals on your own.

To change your life, you have to change yourself. To change yourself you have to change your mindset. Stop being smart people.