It was Sunday. As usual I was at home and as usual, I was completely off my head. Sad and depressed for no reason. Honestly, I now feel like I love being sad for no freaking good reason. I cannot recall when I had a good laugh?
I am in my early 40’s and now cartoons don’t bring a smile on my face. I don’t enjoy David Letterman’s interview and I rarely enjoy my favorite comedy shows like Two And A Half Men, Friends, Modern Family, The office, and The Kapil Sharma Show. Is it only me or even you cannot recall when was the last time you laughed?
Yes! I know laughing is a good exercise and it offers a hell lot of benefits to health. But, what do I do?
I cannot even fake a laugh. I wonder why do some people laugh at things they don’t even understand? Or it is me only? Am I the one not getting that punch?
I have asked this question to many people. The most unsuitable answer I ever had was – I have no more emotions left in me. If that is the case, then why do I feel angry and agitated? What do we call them if not emotions?
Is it something to do with my positive or negative approach towards life? Am I becoming a pessimist; seeing only dark sides of the things?
I always blame the ups and downs of my life for this; they are the real culprit behind my sadness. Like many others, one possible reason behind the death of laughter hormones or endorphins is stress.
And, like many others, I am stressed because things are not working the way I want them to. Or a better explanation can be – I am doing something that I am not enjoying.
For me, life is now nothing, but a question of survival and for this survival, I am actually killing myself. I know that I am running behind things that are in reality bringing joy to the people associated with me and not me.
I think I am living for others. And, there is nothing bad in that.
But, to live for others, I myself need a life; a life full of energy, joy, hopes, and positivism. Think about it.
You need a time machine that can take you back to those years where you laughed out loudly. But, reality is, there is no such time machine.
Should I lock myself in because I don’t see myself fitting in the outer world? Am I supposed to live believing that now I am never going to laugh?
Isolation is not a solution. Instead, reliving your life is. Enjoying the things you used to, go and meet your old friends, play games, start seeing positive things. Be the change that you want to see in the world. Tragedies are part of life and we should not let them overtake us. Live in the present because the present is what we have control on.