What I learned after a year of loneliness

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Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

A lot of people talk about breakups and the pain they suffer after the separation. A mere mention of leaving your beloved could be the worst possible thing for someone in a true and long-term relationship; it is really painful. A long-term relationship when met its unfortunate fate of ending everything, can leave scars on the soul regardless of a person’s inner strength. Those who have been through this pain, they understand how hard it is to restart life and how impossible it seems to be in a relationship again. I have been through the same pain and that is how I know what it feels like; life deprives of hope like flower deprive of fragrance – simply, useless. For a few years, I spend a few years in the lap of depression. Every single day, I wanted to kill myself and every single night, I waited for the sun to rise so that in the morning I can execute the plan of my assassination that I drafted a day ago. But, that day of ‘the death sentence’ never came. I pulled myself out of depression and here is what I learned after a year of loneliness.

I do not necessarily need someone to keep me happy

It was my Loneliness that taught me – I surely do not need anyone to make me happy. This period of my isolation helped me understand how I can enjoy my own company. This period made be capable of discovering the true me and my real true potential. Once, I learned to enjoy my own company, believe me, I thoroughly enjoyed the company of my friends and family more than I used to enjoy before. I amazingly pulled myself out of depression.

I know exactly what I want from partner

During those black days of my pain, I improved my expertise about my own partner. I know have a good understanding of my potential partners. Now, I know what mistakes I made during my last relationships and how I won’t let them happen again; I will now compare “bids”. I am now able to outline a sketch that reflects the individual traits that I want in my partner.

I have a greater potential than I thought

Loneliness helped me knowing myself better. And, once you know your positives and negatives, you can experience the taste of confidence. With this improved confidence, you can now become much more open and spontaneous. In life, there is something else besides love. Before my loneliness, like other lovebirds, my only dream was also finding someone with whom I can plan my whole life and other things like having a home, babies and etc. My life goal was – finding my better half only and in search of that I ignored rest all things. But, that is not everything. Trust me, the moment you improve your strength about detaching yourself from someone, is the real moment when you start seeing other things. You will discover that love is not the only thing.

I have a purpose

During my loneliness, as I used to spend a lot of my time with me, I got enough chances to set goals for the future, to outline priorities for me to get me where I want. I must say, I now became more organized that before because now I have a purpose. I finally managed to see the light at the end of the tunnel and finally find a way to get out of depression.

It Made Me Understand the True Value of freedom

Only after a breakup, I learned to appreciate the freedom; now I really value my freedom more than anything else. It was my loneliness that helped me understand; I do not necessarily need someone to tell me how important I am for him or how much I love him. After all, if you are not in love with yourself, how can you be in love with someone else? You can never drag yourself out of depression. When I was walking through the aisles of loneliness I educated myself about how to treat me without being dependent on someone else.

Earn more

The moment you are single, your income is all yours. You no longer have to share with anyone. It may sound selfish, but you realize that you have more money for you and you can use it as you want without having to give any explanations to anyone. In addition, this period made me save a good amount of money because now I was not buying useless gifts or was not paying hefty phone bills for lengthy talks. I must say, “since I came out of depression, my bank balance had a record boost.”

Parents will enjoy your presence

For parents, no matter what age you are, you represent the most important person possible. After the breakup and during my solitude, I have more time to spend with them and that was a real blessing for me. Also, I realized that period of unhappiness somehow mitigated the gap between me and my parents. I realized, despite a failed relationship, it was my parents, who were always there, and I believe who will be always there. In those moments of sadness, my parents encouraged me and that was the moment when my love and respect for them reached its infinity.

Besides, during this period of wretchedness, I had an opportunity to discover more and more of me; it was my breakup that fathered a blogger out of me.