Victim Mentality – How to Break Out of A Victim Mentality

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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.


“In the battle of life – we are given two choices; live or spend. And, this one choice we make, decides what sort of life we are going to live.”

We are living in the fish-eating-fish world; where every second person is playing sympathy and empathy card to get his work done. We all are victims of something and we all want to portray this victim mentality of ours to the maximum we can. It is very difficult to get out of the posture of a victim because our brain is very good at finding excuses to blame other factors. But, no denial; we are a victim because we think we are. The brain is the most amazing mechanism behind fathering excuses.

Should you want to taste the success, you must immediately stop behaving like a victim. The first step is to recognize that you are not a victim.

If you frequently use statements like it’s impossible, I can’t do this, this is not my fault, this is his fault, I’ve never done this before, I tried a lot, but it did not work, I will try to do this one, Life is not fair to me – you are posing as a victim.

Before you do anything, you need to stop treating you like a helpless child. To exit this state you need to find a company of people more experienced than you. It is about personality development and only personally developed or mature people can address this need of yours.

Instead of making excuses and blaming others for your bad times, you need to change your thinking and you need to shoulder 100% responsibility for your life.

Let us do a little mathematics. We all play video games. Just think about the levels of the game. If you are at Level 1 and you face a situation of Level 2 you will feel that you are facing a big barrier. But, maybe you have a friend of yours who is playing at level 5 or 6 or even at level 10; he might have passed the level two situation easily.

How they did it. Were they born genius? Not at all. The only difference is – they have lived among people with higher level of thinking. They are more developed in the way of looking at things. It was their mindset that helped them see positively through the difficulties.

To climb this ladder is not easy. It’s damn hard. If you are a victim, you need to start doing massive action and to do so you need to believe that you can do so; let go of excuses.

I worked hard, but was useless; is a statement made by useless people. If you had worked hard and still you failed, it simply means you hadn’t worked hard. It is like joining a gym for weight loss and after a month saying that even after trying everything, you failed. It did not work because you have not made hard work! You need to check what went wrong.

Stop making lame excuses like something holding me back, parents disagree, and I do not know how to do this because I have never tried before.

By saying so, you are actually fooling yourself because your brain knows how much work is required. But, it is you behaving like a victim and unless you do not surround yourself with exceptional people. Therefore, it is better to have mentors. People who are higher than you, to motivate you and show the right way.

Do your best to exit the posture of a victim, you won’t be able to win the combat; combat of life, desires, and dreams.