No denial, One of the strongest and strangest reasons behind the soaring number of divorces is – “unhealthy obsession for in-laws”.
No offense, but I seriously do not understand this part of parents; why do they need to poke their nose in their kids’ matter, when they already had issued a ‘maturity certificate’ after getting them married. At the same time, it makes me laugh-out-loudly, when I see married couples taking every small thing to their parents like babies. Despite knowing that this unhealthy obsession for in-laws is driving their relationship towards divorce, nor the couple neither the in-laws want to grow. Dear people! Growth is not about an increase in shoe size, but the growth of mentality.
Frankly speaking, there is a problem in our parenting style. Regardless of our age, be it the in-laws or couple, we all behave like spoiled kids; someone who is not ready to listen, but speak. And, on top of this, both parties believe, by interfering or by inviting others to interfere, they are sorting things out. Funny! Isn’t it?
This in-laws obsession is on both sides, be it boy or girl. And, to fix it, there should be no double standards.
Boys! Mustaches or beard are not the sign of maturity. Even your pubic hair are not going to declare you a man.
To be seen and regarded as a man, you need to behave like a man. Seeking advises is fine, but if you still want to hold their finger before going out, consider yourself a baby. In the old age, you need to hold the hands of your parents and not a finger. Keep your finger vacant for your baby.
I am not against living with the parents. But, before taking your wife and parents on the ride, make sure, you guys are properly sitting. The logic is – you must seek the driver seat of your family and your wife must be the one on the co-passenger seat.
Your parents had already traveled their distance and now, this is the time when your parents should be enjoying the ride on the backseat.
For Boy’s Parents
With a few exceptions, most of the in-laws want to sort the things with their intelligence and as per their comfort zone. Dear parents! Let your boy be the commander. Though you can always be his navigator, as and when required, allow him to face new challenges. As parents, you must vacant the driver seat for your son and his wife.
Dear mothers-in-law! Try to understand that there is a generation gap between your son’s wife is you. Expecting her to do things like you used to do in your 20’s or you are doing now in your 50’s, is more likely expecting a second-grade kid to solve a 10th-grade mathematics problem; not going to happen before the time.
Slow down the speed of your expectations and let her do the things with her own pace and the way she learned.
Dear MIL! You might be good with pancakes, but who knows, if your daughter-in-law is awesome with Italian?
Dear brides! You need to understand that leaving your family and joining a new family is more likely leaving your high-grade school and going to the university; all new rules, new uniforms, new ways of doing things, and new people.
The university won’t allow you, in case you try to breach their laws or methods. Would you be wearing your kindergarten’s skirt on the first day of your college? I don’t think so.
Would you ask your mother to have a bottle of oil on your head and tie you two ponies with red-ribbons forming flowers on both sides on the first day of your college, like you used to have in school? I don’t think so.
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Long story short! You are supposed to follow the rules of every new place you visit.
Then, why it is so hard to follow the rules of your in-law’s house? Why do you keep complaining that your in-laws are following the obsolete traditions?
Why do you keep trying to bring your rules to their house, when you don’t do the same thing at your parents’ house? Why do you think, the rules made by your parents are the most advanced and suitable? And, what is the harm in trying new rules? Why do you feel like criticizing every little change you are introduced to?
For Girl’s Parents
Like a spy aunt living next door, they keep roaming around their daughter’s house, even they know that their son-in-law is taking the best care of their daughter?
With a few exceptions, most of the parents in this category don’t want to listen to things. What all you want to know? And, why you missed all such queries before marrying your daughter to that person?
Instead of rectifying the nonsense theories of yours, you want your son-in-law to follow the rules according to the comfort of your daughter. Come on! First of all, clear your mind; are you marrying your daughter or is your son-in-law adopting her?
I am not saying that after getting married girl’s parents are not supposed to visit her daughter. All I am saying is – please do not poke your nose until no option left.
Stop behaving like kindergarten babies. Getting married was your decision and it was not imposed on you. You as a couple need to understand that every addition asks for changes.
Even if you bring home a new bed-sheet, you need to adjust a few things to have a space for it. Then, why it is so hard for you as a couple, to accommodate your relationships with your parents?
It is not that you are discarding them, but you are becoming the judge of your own relationship. And, if you think, you still need your mom-dad to sort your things, you are not matured enough. I must say, don’t get married because you are getting older, but wiser and responsible.