Why Am I Alone

Why Am I Alone
Why Am I Alone
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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

“I stood up alone with my thoughts and no one was with me. Here, I am, nearly at the end of my life, and guess what! I am still standing alone.

It’s been 15 long years since I confined myself to my own boundaries; where no one, but I am the person with questions and I am the person with answers. Why am I alone?

I can now spend hours talking to the walls and my pet dog. After living my whole life on my terms, I am now left with a few photo collage and sadistic sunsets; sunsets of my youthfulness.

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Every morning, I do dusting; dusting off my novels that I used to enjoy while purposely burning my skin in the sun. It was an unshaken love of mine with beaches full of beauties. Now, every evening, I sit on my rocking chair and enjoy seeing teens going for clubbing.

I bid them all adieu, though I want to suggest them – “do not let this ogre haunt you – the ghost known as personal freedom or staying single.

It is very unfortunate though that this bloody vampire is eating up civilizations. The more we become self-centered, the more we are turning into lonely souls.

Look around, you can find thousands of people ululating about their relationships. “I am single and I am enjoying it.”

No doubt, we all pass through that time when we all feel like staying single with no strings attached to anyone. Regardless of geographical boundaries and ethnic beliefs, should we be given a chance, we all want to breathe in the fresh air, every second person wants to be a free bird; free from all relationship commitments.

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“My life my rules,” isn’t it? But, don’t you people think that for buying the subscription of a few years’ fun, we are actually paying a huge price? Do not you think that we are factually buying loneliness?

Why do people choose disconnection from society? Are they upset with the society at whole or is it their rebellious nature? Does it have anything to do with inferiority or superiority complex?

There could be countless reasons behind this viz. lack of social skills, lack of social interest, their own imaginary protective walls, introversion, past traumas, intense needs, and various others.

Should you ask those who are enjoying their solitude, they are single because to them being single means more discoveries about self, a burden free life, perfect inner balance, deeper connection with self, a sense of confidence and pride. But, as per psychologists, loneliness is nothing, but a personal dimension.

We do not have the acumen of dealing with things and challenges diplomatically, hence, we choose to quit. After exploring a few mental health journals, it is evident that loneliness is directly associated with negative behavior. We all have personal liking and disliking, but that does not mean you have to disconnect yourself from others around you. Never.

It is not that we are not aware of the prices that we will be made to pay, but we barely think about that. And, the bitter truth about being lonely is no one wants to admit it too. We are so obsessed with our false pride that we stick to our decision of personal freedom.

We do not want to confess that we actually are paying a price of our unsocial behavior with others. According to an interesting study published in the journal Harvard Business Review, we begin to develop the solitude as a strategy by which we want to improve many of our cognitive abilities and we want to achieve a better harmony in the emotional field.

But, honestly, how long one can enjoy staying alone? There comes a phase in our life when we need someone to sit by our side.

I know, most of the protagonists are going to oppose my opinion of being lonely. They would outcry – why do we even need someone when we have old age homes and medical centers? After all, it is all about money at the end? How about petting a dog to kill loneliness? Isn’t it a better option?

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They might be right there, but can I humbly ask them – do they think that these options are going to fill the emotional gap that they will be carrying with them at that period of their age? While it is clear that we are social creatures and we need the interaction to grow, learn and live.

I agree, we need a few moments of solitude and a few jiffies of calmness. But, at the same time, we cannot deny the importance of that someone special with whom we are going to share all pains and gain of our life.

At that hour of our life when I will be heading towards my, I don’t want to hear me saying – I’M so lonely I don’t even want to be with my.