“Binny, you haven’t slept for 24 hours and I cannot allow you to go for one more shift. Dude, red bull is not going to work anymore. You really need a nap. Go home mate, I see you in the night shift.”
The More I learn about People , The More I love my dog. After spending two consecutive days, at a mineral water plant as a process worker, I was finally told to go home and have some rest before I can be allowed to start on my next shift. My production manager, Jim, was now seriously concerned about my safety, though I was working on the conveyor only; lifting the cartons and shifting them to pallets. But, I was desperately seeking more shifts, so that I can pay my credit card installments that I swiped for university fee ($6500). Well, Jim dropped me at the bus station and after a few minutes, I boarded the bus. My head was so heavy of sleeplessness. I was trying to keep my eyes open, but was feeling like I am under any sort of drug and intoxication is not letting me keep my eyes open. The bus moved on. “I should listen to some music. I am so sleepy. I need to keep myself awake or otherwise, I am going to miss my stop,” I was talking to me.
I pulled my phone out and plugged in the headphones; I was listening to my country music. After two-three songs, I suddenly realized, I am hearing someone’s talk. Oh, it was a recording on my phone. It was a function on my phone that allows me to record all calls to an unknown number. “It was a friend of mine, who borrowed my phone.” I preferred to skip that, as I was not into others’ matters. But, before I could skip, I heard a voice that I was addicted to; my lady love. “What the….. How do these two know each other? None of them mentioned.” It was not a love talk, though, so the angle of a triangle love story, I ruled out, immediately. But, throughout their call, I was the matter of discussion; she was spying on me. My sleep was all gone and I was so impatient about reaching home the soonest possible. “Do they know each other? Is there anything serious going on between them besides being casual friends? If so, then what am I doing in this story? If not, then who is spying whom? I was finding it hard to breathe.
I literally felt the pace of my walk and for the first time, I counted my steps; the distance between the bus stop and my room was of 43 steps. “Dear God! I won’t be able to hold my questions until night. Wishing that stinking rat at home.” Well, I reached home and I smelled him. “How do you know her and don’t ask me who? I know that you know, about whom I am asking.” A naughty smile on his face, but definitely not like a cheater’s one. Oh! You are talking about her. I had a friend’s request on my FB and we befriended. Later, I saw you on her friends’ list. I asked her and she said, “just a casual friend from India. Though, she always asks about you in one way or the other. Ask about your family, your job etc.” Okay, so what’s next? I was desperate to know the future; future of their relationship. “We are planning an engagement soon. I might be visiting her next week; applied for New Zealand Visa. Her parents are coming over.” But, why are you so serious about her?” I was a deep shock and words were not coming out of my mouth. “Just like that. You are lucky, dude!.”
Around half past one in the midnight, I called her. This was the time when we use to paint our dreams; late night birds. I broke my promise of never calling her. We just had a broke-up a few days ago. I know she is not going to answer my call and I was right. She never answered. After 20 attempts I hung up. I was into financial hardships and that was the only reason behind the sudden demise of this four years’ long relationship. In an attempt of saving my friend (the one I just mentioned above) from an attack, I got brutally bashed. A few days bed rest put me behind the deadlines of my finance commitments. To compensate the loss of my taxi-owner, I referred my friend to him. He not only replaced me as a driver of the taxi, but also took every single thing that I was in love with. I know I have shown him pics of me and her, yet he behaved like he knows nothing about our relationship. The girl, I trusted the most, stabbed me to the death of my emotions. I was feeling like a dog playing with his master – he throws the ball and every time the dog brings it back, the master throws it farther and the dog is again made to chase the ball. I tried everything I could to keep my lady entertained; countless times she traumatized me and every time I recollected myself for the next round, with one single hope, “one day, she will realize my true worth.” But, it never happened. She had plans and she executed those.
“Why me?” I was sitting on the bench I was reading her email that she wrote me a few days ago.
I don’t know how to say this, but we cannot go any farther. I think, we are done. I spoke about you to my parents and they told me that they already fixed my marriage. I will be visiting my hometown in a few days from now. Trust me, I tried it really hard, but seems like we were not made for each other. I know, I am letting you down. I am sorry for not living up to your expectations. I am not as courageous as you are. I cannot go beyond my parents’ wish. Wish you can feel the tears that I am drowning in. Wish you can feel my heartbeat, sinking every moment while I am writing this email to you. You are free to curse me. Let me tell you, leaving you is not going to be easy for me either, but sometimes we have to accept things, whether or not we like it.
And yes, do not worry about the Credit Card payment that you swiped for my university fee, after coming back, I will sort that.” Also, please accept my request of not following me anymore. I don’t want to bring any disgrace to my family.
Wish! I can rewrite things.
It was raining outside. I was sitting on a bench. Jermy, a stray dog, whom I used to feed, I saw him running towards me. Perhaps, he was the one concerned about pain. I cuddled him and he was licking my shoes; seems like he saw me crying and he was consoling me not to do.