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Sex hurts – What do I do?

Sex hurts – What do I do?
Sex hurts – What do I do?
Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

Orgasms release a bunch of feel-good hormones that encourage bonding and deepens shared love.

Sex ought to be a pleasurable exercise for everyone involved, but many women find sex painful. Sex hurts. This is not uncommon. If you feel pain, it is your body’s warning signal and you may just need to make a few changes to ensure that your whimpers of pain turn into moans of pleasure.

Why Do I Feel Pain?

Inadequate lubrication results in chafing and pain and is due to a plethora of reasons.

Poor Sexual Technique

A man who doesn’t know his way around a woman’s body is bound to make mistakes. Sometimes he may not know what to do to please you and other times he just isn’t patient enough.

Solution: Foreplay

Foreplay includes diverse practices like kissing, cuddling, petting, manual and oral stimulation. Studies show that the more time spent in foreplay, the better the quality (thicker) and quantity of lubrication produced by the woman, resulting in better and longer orgasms.

Just like brakes need brake fluid, sexual touching allows a partner to relax and become disinhibited. It stimulates us and prepares the genitals for intercourse. It also allows the woman feel comfortable and loved allowing for a better wholesome experience. To women out there, communicate with your partner and teach him how you would like to be touched. Don’t be shy to place demands, as he will be happier knowing he’s making you happy

Mental Distress

Women spend a lot of mental energy worrying about how their naked body looks, this building anxiety which kills libido.

Solution: Relax

Don’t focus on sucking in your tummy because he probably doesn’t care about your fat rolls or stretch marks. If he is having sex with you, then he obviously finds you attractive, so forget about everything and focus on the pleasure you’re feeling.

This is really just about being comfortable in your own skin and knowing that no one is perfect. However, women with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) either from being a victim of sexual or physical violence or with depression or any mental illness, should go for psychological therapy.


During menopause, hormones cause vaginal dryness and depression that drops libido. Some women are also unable to produce enough lubrication on their own.

Solution: Lubricants

Menopausal women could visit their doctor for prescription drugs that help ease the dryness. Don’t be Ashamed to use External Lubricants. Invest in good lubricant gels and creams to help your own production. Water-based lubricants tend to have lesser allergic reactions, but always remember to test with a little quantity first. However, you may want to use oil-based lubricants if you plan on having sex in the shower or Jacuzzi.

Medical Conditions

Pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, and fibroids in the vagina or cervix; vaginismus, a condition that causes contraction of vaginal muscles, makes penetration painful or impossible. Infections like thrush, chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes can cause soreness, itching, malodor and painful discharge.

Solution: Visit a Doctor

Don’t hesitate to see a doctor as pain could be a sign of a more serious underlying problem. Any signs of infection should quickly be addressed as infections tend to affect the uterus and fallopian tubes if left unattended.

Penile size and Sex Positions

Large penile size combined with small vaginal canals, or positions that cause the penis to hit the cervix can also be painful for some women.

Solution: Communication 

Communicate with your partner, change positions to one that suits you and teaches your partner to be gentle and patient.

I hope these solutions are going to help you positively and you will be able to enjoy a better sexual relationship with your partner; a painless sexual relationship. Should you discover that sex and intimacy are fading in your relationship, try to find out solutions for the same.

Love + Trust + Loyalty + Great Sex = Unbreakable Relationship