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Sex After Baby - Changes in Sex Life After Child Birth
Sex After Baby - Changes in Sex Life After Child Birth

Sex After Baby Changes in Sex Life After Child Birth



  1. Decrease in libido is normal.
  2. Vagina is never going to be the same.
  3. To an extent, penile penetration will be painful.
  4. Hormonal changes will bring mood swings.

Many couples who have gone through childbirth, wondering when can resume sexual relations?

Natural birth affects our sex life. We know that the perineum is highly requested during pregnancy and natural birth. There are observations that claim that one of the effects is long-term or even permanent vaginal canal widening. There are many misconceptions and myths among would-be parents about sex after baby; their sexual life after having a (normal delivery) baby.

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Postpartum period is rich in hormonal, physical, and psychological changes and emotionally charged. Even if you’re not expecting, first intercourse after you become a mother is going to be a little painful and something entirely new. There are cases, where women have compared the pain equivalent to defloration.

Sex is painful after childbirth

Many mothers’ (after delivery) complained about the decrease in sexual desires. Immediately after birth, even in the first months after, your libido will suffer and you will not have the same sexual desire that you used your partner.

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It is not pregnancy, but the fatigue caused by caring the baby, body conditions after birth, stress, emotions, and other obstacles stand in the way of your orgasm. Don’t let it come in between you and your partner; try to fake an orgasm. Also, an open communication with your partner could solve these frustrations!

Hormonal changes and vaginal dryness

Hormonal changes could make the vagina dry and sensitive, especially if you are breastfeeding. To ease discomfort during sex, start easy, first with caresses, kisses, and massage.

Then, gradually increase the intensity of stimulation. If vaginal dryness is a problem, you can use a cream or a gel lubricant. Try different positions to relieve pressure on sensitive areas and controls the penetration level. Tell your partner what makes you feel good and what not.

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It is also important to focus on the moment – you feel you and your partner, and not thinking about diapers, cleaning or other chores. If intercourse continues to be painful, talk to your gynecologist about what treatment options exist. After a vaginal birth, decreased muscle tone in your vagina could reduce penile penetration pleasure, which can influence getting an orgasm, but this will be temporary.

Pelvic floor exercise – Kegel Exercise

To strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, try Kegel exercises. Imagine trying to stop the removal of gas or urine stream. The sensation is that of “squeezing and up.” If you’re not sure doing it right, a way to check is to try a Kegel during sex and ask your partner if he feels contractual. If you do right, you will feel as its “embrace” male genital.

In the beginning, do these exercises for a little time. Start by keeping each contraction for a few seconds before relax and take a break for a few seconds after each exercise. As muscles become stronger, you will work each Kegel for 10 seconds and you will relax for 10 seconds.

Myths about natural birth and sex after childbirth

Your vagina will never be the same!

True. Nobody wants to hear this, but it’s true. Things are never going to remain the same, but that does not mean it will be worse. The vagina is a muscle that grows during natural birth, but like any muscle is foldable. Normally, your vagina will return in a few months after birth.

Sex will hurt the first few times, but it will be bearable

True. Even if you delivered a baby normally with minimal trauma to the perineum, without episiotomy; experts say it’s normal that the first sex after childbirth is going to be a little painful. However, they recommended special lubricants, possibly based on natural substances.

Sex after natural birth is better

This is neither true nor false. It is true that many women say sex life were improved after natural birth because of the high sensitivity of the vagina (and, in other words, more likely to have multiple orgasms), but nobody can guarantee that you’ll fall among the lucky.

Episiotomy heals more easily than a spontaneous rupture

Well, research shows that women who suffered spontaneous rupture during childbirth have been redone in a time equal to or shorter and suffered fewer complications compared with those who were subjected to episiotomies.

If you do not want another child right away, it is recommended to use a method of birth control as soon as the moment you started again to have sexual reports, that after 6 weeks is indicated when resuming sexual activity.

At first, you can use condoms. If you are breastfeeding and prefer hormonal contraception, it is important to choose a method that does not drop milk production, such as the pill (during breastfeeding only certain types of oral contraceptives are allowed; those containing only progestin).

Ask your doctor about methods of birth control before resuming sexual reports or to control postpartum.