I am in a relationship for 3 years. But I am very afraid to tell my parents about this because we belong to different casts. My parents will think about the society that all friends and relatives will talk negatively about this. I am scared to tell because this will strain my relationship with my parents. Once if they know they cannot tolerate this. But I am not willing to break up with my boyfriend. Since 2 years I am in this pressure, always I stuck up in these thoughts. I just don’t know what to do. Please advice
After reading your question, I believe you are struggling with two main issues –
- How to tell your parents?
- Should you get married to your loved one against your parents’ will?
Let us answer, one by one.
How To Tell Your Parents
It is true that your parents will think about society and relatives. Should you tell them about your relationship, then you will be risking your relationship with your parents. However, the only way out here is – telling them.
Yes, they are going to challenge your decision in every possible manner. However, you should face them and when you do you either must have diplomat qualities for discussions with them or you must show guts like a rebel.
It is actually a game of mindset. You have to prepare your mind. You have to set your priorities. It is not that you will be losing someone for sure. Should you try to convince your parents on factual/reasonable things, they will listen to you.
If your people do not like the person you’re dating, they are going to disapprove. However, instead of showing bitterness, you need to understand the reasons behind their disapproval. They are worried about you as a couple, whom they think society is never going to accept with respect. You can disagree with them, but it is important to listen to their views.
You really need to listen to their arguments and be careful that you are not overlooking their concerns as they can be right too. If you have all the answers to their objection, then there will be no objection. Hope you got my point.
Should You Get Married To Someone Against your Parents’ Will?
If you really love your parents, then you should no do that! You need to show your maturity level because this how you are going to make your parents trust you and your decision.
Tackling situation like a child and trying filthy tricks like emotional blackmailing and all are only going to prove that you’re still not capable of taking your own decisions.
The best way is to be vocal about your feelings and taking every step you can to bring these two families closer. Make them see those qualities that you see. Convince your parents to at least meet them once before announcing their decision. Give your parents some time to think and save some drama at home. You need to handle things maturely.
You can then ask them to reconsider or rethink their decision. I am sure, parents wish their children to be happy. And, once they feel that you’ll be happy with the chosen partner, they will happily accept both.
Yes, it will require a lot of work, but once everything will work out, you’ll know all the efforts were worth it. You really want to start your new life with lots of love and positivism around.
In the end, I would like to say that – “If love makes you lose something, then there is no love. Parents want to see you happy and all they want is to see you happy and not trapped in useless complication. Try to understand that they have the best intentions for you.”