Possessiveness in Relationships – I Love You or I Own You

Possessiveness in Relationships – I Love You or I Own You
Possessiveness in Relationships – I Love You or I Own You
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Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

Before I can start writing anything, I would like to say that possessiveness is an expression of fear, and fear is born out of ignorance.

Possessiveness in relationships; when you are expected to overlook everything else around you, but your partner. Just to buy one temporary smile, you are actually betting every single moment of your own independence and peace of mind; not a good deal. Watch closely; in reality “I own you” is wrapped in a nice colorful packaging that says “I love you”. I know, this is going to piss you off, but this is a reality. I don’t see any love, where a partner is asking for everything her partner have regardless of her partner’s emotions. Why do you need to dominate someone?

To love is to give and it is about giving and not having. Important is that when you really love someone, give what you have to offer and do not ask anything in return. But, that must be from both sides. Love does not oblige anyone to do anything. If someone loves you, he won’t cage you and if you are surrendering yourself, you are not in love, but some kind of trade.

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If you love a person, you have to respect his freedom. Gift your partner a full sky to fly because I have seen pigeons coming back to their owners after having a good time in the air. You do not love because you need the other. You are not a beggar. Are you? Whether you are dominating or surrendering, you are not behaving like a soul in true love.

Couples with negative emotions like possessiveness, jealousy or control can never have a harmonious relationship. There is a criterion by which you can recognize real love. True love never leads to suffering.

True love cares about the joy of others. Remember this criterion: if your love is giving you suffering or bringing bad reputation, then it better to quit because you cannot change the nature of a person. Do keep in mind that love means freedom and joy. If your partner is playing victim to gain your sympathy and maximum attention, then your partner is indirectly telling you that he “owns” you.

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Trust me, in love, there are no victims because victims exist only in struggle. If your partner is always crying because you are not there to wipe your partner’s crocodiles’ tears, this is not a sign of love. It is a clear indication of possessiveness.

It is very hard to make a possessive partner happy and chances of failure are quite high.

Should you be merciful to such a partner?

Before answering this, you need to understand that there is no love in your relationship and all you doing is – nurturing your illusions of being in love. You need to wake up before its’ too late.

Do not confuse love with possessiveness. Get your facts right. If you continue to dream that you are in love, you will never experience true love.

Can you understand the logic behind a mean statement of your partner, when he says, “can you stay if I promise this or give them this or that”? He is actually with you not because of you, but for that something.