Age is just an issue over mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter – Mark Twain
Every time we see an oldie doing some teens stuff, without wasting a minute we pronounce him, “a filthy old man.” Reminds me of Arya uncle ; one of the most stylish old man I ever met. His dressing sense, cowboy hat, long boots, long curly beard (well groomed), and the handlebar mustache; I have heard people talking about his style.
I once asked him, “Arya Uncle! Every time I see you I feel like asking this you. What are you up to and are you trying to do the things we guys do?” He instantly replied, “What you mean you guys do? Do I look like an alien to you; someone from the other part of the galaxy? I do not understand, what makes you people think old people have no desires. Why do you guys out there expect us to be in the worship places and not in the clubs or on dating portals?” We had a long discussion/interview on this and here are a few important extracts that I would like to share with you about old people and their unmet desires.
Arya Uncle, Why do you often talk about sex and ladies?
Well, I am not the only old man who talks about sex a lot. I don’t want to name, but there are dozen others including some females. Unlike the people of your age group (not oldies), we are not allowed to discuss these things, even among people of my own age group.
Should you see anyone doing this, society will immediately ostracize him and that too without even asking about the opinion of the person concerned. Maybe, he lived his life with a low libido partner or for whom doing kinky things is nothing, but nonsense. But, desires remained there and they are now seeking an exit; a best possible exit.
But, what about the negative relationship between aging and sexual desires?
Oh Boy! You are living in a world that is so full of people with half knowledge; they know a little and pretend like scholars. It is medically proved, aging has nothing to do with sexual desires. Be it a male or female, they both have desires that they want to express, but it’s society who treat their interests as undignified and disgraceful.
Even if they accept, their grandchildren or children are going to disapprove. And, this going to make them feel more guilty like they have committed a crime. Aging is responsible for psychological, pathological, behavioral and psychosocial changes among elders.
Reminds me of a funny incident. I was traveling from Delhi to Chandigarh. My co-passenger was a 70+ lady. She asked me, what do I do? Just for the fun sake, I introduced myself as a gerontologist with an interest in impotence. And her reply that came after my answer shocked me. “Oh, you must be treating a lot of men. Next time, when you fix one, give em’ my card.” I was in complete state of shock.
I have heard of many old sex offenders. What about those?
What you mean, “what about those?” You are calling them by the meanest names; dirty old geezer, horny old on the board, a man of sixty with a heart of sixteen, and much more. Intentionally, you are forcing him to ignore one of the most important parts of his life. You are asking him to give up on his desires. You are confusing his sexual desires with moralities and at the same time, you are keeping your dirty desires out of those boundaries. Be honest, don’t you guys look at teen girls or matured ladies? I know, many times your parents must have told you to focus on studies and not on other things. But, how often you listen to them? I have seen many of you guys visiting brothels. Now, don’t refuse this (there as a confirmation smile on my face). All I want to say is – how long you expect someone to suppress these desires? The more ferociously you suppress them, the more fiercely they are going to come out.
So, What are the Solutions?
Well, society needs to change their definitions. For example, look how it is happening in the west; concepts like old people dating, sugar daddies and much more are flourishing. Also, you guys need to give us an ear; you should refrain yourself from labeling us with sick names for our sexual desires and demands. Dear people, can I please request you to not to make it an issue of conscience.
You must understand that time has changed now and romance in our times was different. At the same, I would like to request all oldies to respect social norms. We (oldies) must understand that accepting our sexual desires are a challenge for our children.
Try to think of those days when you restricted your kids’ freedom. You don’t want them to do anything that can bring a stigma on family’s name. So, you need to keep the society norms in mind.