Old Age Home Is this the place where you want to end up?

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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

My son always forgets things from childhood. Now, he forgot to build a room for me in his bungalow. God! Please forgive him.

Sometimes, those who worked hard, who have put a lot of heart in everything they did for their families, suddenly may find themselves without their desire; they feel useless and like the left outs of the game. And, elders sometimes cry; cry as they feel alone. It is our society that makes them feel useless because it’s we who marginalizes them and tell them that they are no longer required and they belong to an old age home. No longer needs them, or worse, they are a burden to a family’s state budget, despite their pension and savings. The thing that disturbs me to the core is – they have accumulated life experience and professional that you no longer need, but they worked hard.

They suffer because they have nourished such a nonsense family who lacks time for those, and that too at such a phase of life when they need someone to take care of those shivering bodies, both economically and financially. How come we can be so rude to those trembling hands, swollen knees, and blurry eyesight. Being a member of a group who works for people of respectable age, I get numerous chances of experiencing the loneliness, depression, sadness among those ostracized hearts because they do not know how the years have passed, where things went wrong and what mistake they did.

Should you visit an old age home, you will see them consoling each other and sharing their happy stories. I still do not understand, how come they managed to survive in 2 BHK (bedroom, hall and kitchen) with a family of two sons and two daughters, when their two sons having 3BHK individually finds it difficult to vacant one room to them; I have seen oldies sleeping outside like house-pets; as they are no more a part of house. Trust me, friends, give it a try; try holding their hands and witness a waterfall of Tears, sadness, physical pain, and suffering.
A family with an old person has a living treasure of gold

I agree, there are a few who treats them very kindly, but there has to some reason behind increasing numbers of flats and old age homes. I’m not old, but I have seen this. We are in iPhone age, where password to wifi is more important than paying regards and talking to each other. We all have a huge list of friends on the internet or social media apps, but we are completely unknown about the pains of our family members. Our society seriously needs to rethink; they need to learn how you to rebuild the relationship.

We need to learn how not to make our oldies feel that they are of no use and are expelled. It is completely illogical that parents, who have grown children, suddenly become a burden for them. We need to understand that they can become a team, and each member has its own role and purpose. Retirement very often brings a whole account of moods and emotions that may overcome the pensioner control capabilities with it. Thus, those who worked hard, who have put a lot of heart in their activity may find themselves suddenly without their desire; they feel useless and left out of the game. We need to act more sensibly while dealing with oldies. We need to understand the causes of their anxiety.

Understanding the causes of the anxiety of the pensioners is not rocket science; given a little attention, one can have a better idea of what is disturbing them. Among a few reasons, the first one is involvement in terms of time, emotions, feelings, passion, and desires. Throughout their life, they were more into kids and family. In the battle of survival and family problems, they forgot to keep their hobbies alive and they intentionally dropped all social connections. At this stage, for them, the biggest challenge is – how to kill the time? The second phase of their life (young age) was dedicated to third phase (marriage and kids). Third phase (as parents) was sucked by the worries of fourth phase (old age and how their kids going to treat them). And, in the fourth phase of their life, all they left with is – memories.

In the early life, they were responsible for taking care of their own kids and at retirement age, their children expect them to take-care of their children (grandchildren). In this whole episode of selfishness, we as children knowingly ignore their anxiety, nervousness, and the constant desire they are looking at us; a desire of treating them with deserved love and care. For most of the kids, they are nothing, but another item that they want to get rid off by hiding it somewhere in the dark corner of the dusty garage. Dear people, we need to understand that retirement anxiety is a condition that can be serious enough and if left untreated, it can worsen and may lead to behavioral or personality disorders.

Remember, should we encourage building more old age homes and not keeping our parents with us as a family, one day, our kids are going to book a bed for us in the same old age home.