Do you know anything about the terms ‘Hypergamy and Hypogamy’ used in social science in the context of marriage?
Let me solve this complex equation for you.
If a man marries a woman with lower social and economic status, or if a woman marries a man with a higher social and economic status, then it is called a hypergamy.
Hypogamy is completely the opposite. If a man marries a woman with an upper social and economic status, or if a woman marries a man with lower social and economic status, then it is called a hypogamy.
No doubt, be it Asian civilizations or western, marrying someone one with upper social and economic status is mostly preferred. And, incidents of marrying someone from a lower social class are very rare.
My point is – why ‘social and economic status’ attracts the immediate attention of parties (parents and in-laws) before forming any social relationship? Dare to reject the theories claiming, “social and economic inequality between partners and their families as one of the top reasons behind increasing numbers of divorces.”
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Marrying someone from a lower social class than yours hardly works. In the case of marrying someone with a lower social class, one argument about inequality can bring a relationship to an end.
Personality and social psychology play a role when it is about getting married. Spending a few hundred bucks thoughtlessly on an ostrich, oysters, or on an expensive steak might not be a big deal for someone from an elite class. However, for a person with low social and economic status this is nothing, but a complete wastage of money. Marrying a person from a lower social class means marrying someone with completely different psychology and ideology.
In this sort of situation, there are only two possible reactions – one is going out of control and second is a consistent struggle between two different psychologies.
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Most of the time, I have seen people becoming restless about the things they have never experienced earlier. Only a few cases of self-amendment can be seen.
In addition to the husband-wife, their family members are also made to face the heat of this so-called social and economic status mismatch. The survival of this kinda relationship depends upon the level of alternation that parties involved are ready to consider.
Practically speaking, for a few of us, society means a lot. Ignoring society and its rules for a certain time, just to keep the relation moving, may work. And, this is nothing more than a temporary superficial remedy. But, changing the mindset that we are grown up, is no way an easy task.
I have seen many lovebirds marrying to someone with no nest at all. And, after some time, with every sunrise, they cry for their blunder mistake; once upon a time, I married someone from a lower social class.
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Trust me, marrying someone from a lower social class is an open invitation to countless tensions that you have to deal with on a daily basis. And, the worst part is, you don’t know how your partner is going to react to a particular situation. For example – people, who grew up with the conditions like variable income and uncertain future, they have a completely different approach for life than those who are born with a gold spoon in their mouth.
I am not saying that marrying someone with equal social-economic status is an assurance of a happy marriage. There are several cases where people get married despite their social-economic status and they are happy. The three key elements behind the success of such marriages are – patience, no ego, and compromises. In such relationships, both the couple and their family members are way above this ‘ego’ crap. To them, family comes first, then comes the society. In such couples, compromises are from both sides and they never give up on patience.