We all make mistakes in relationships. There are a few that can be easily forgiven. However, there are some that leave permanent wounds. In the end, the faith dies.
Sometimes, it’s not our mistake, but the personality of our better half. Regardless of the case, we must work together to identify the root of the problem and uproot it. We have to try our best to make sure that trust is grown and incubated in our relationships. But how do we achieve this? Let us learn how to win back trust after losing it.
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This has two prongs: the first is to decide to talk about the lack of trust.
Voice out your opinions to your partner, whether you are the one on the receiving end or giving. Explain your position and why you feel this way. Open communication not only allows you as a couple to address the issue but it promotes intimacy and trust. It allows the couple to feel as though they are tackling issues from a united front like a team.
The second prong is – keeping no secrets.
You shouldn’t jump for your phone every time your partner reaches for it. If you have something to hide, then perhaps a relationship is not where you ought to be. We should learn not to keep secrets or tell lies in our relationship. Lies, no matter how small, have a way of damaging the integrity of our relationship.
Trust is learned and earned over time. When you are supportive, dependable and trustworthy, then you can be trusted. If you say you will do something, no matter how tiny the task is, always do it.
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For example, if your partner cannot trust that you will do the dishes when you say you will, how can she trust that you will care for her?
Trust is built over time, and as you earn in the smaller levels, you grow to bigger levels. Trust goes both ways; give and take. If you are not dependable and trustworthy then you cannot expect the same from your partner. Keep your promises.
It takes time to rebuild trust. But if you remain in the relationship, it is because you chose to give them a second chance. This may be difficult for you but don’t judge every situation at face value, always dig deeper because there may be another reason.
Don’t be quick to suspect and criminalize your loved one. Rather choose to entertain the possibility of another reason, it helps control your emotions and reminds you that you are indeed giving them a second chance.
In the same case, if your partner chooses to share a major mistake they made, don’t be quick to pass judgment. The fact that they are willing to share with you means that they are willing to be vulnerable to you. You have to be careful to respond with kindness and encouragement. If you judge them, they are likely to recede, not trust you and not share with you.