Main jahan rahoon, teri yaad saath hai – I Miss You, But I don’t want to

Photo Credit:
Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

I just saw her laughing with someone else. I furtively looked at her. I was calling her name, but words were not coming out of my mouth; seems like my tongue was glued.

My eyes were so full of tears and I was running behind her with my bare feet and I was feeling breathe-shortness as well. She was out of my side and I was looking for her footsteps; maybe I can trace her down.

But, all of sudden, it started to rain and her footprints were gone. I was throwing stones at the sky and each and every stone was coming back to me; as if God was laughing at my madness too. 6 AM, I woke up with a heavy head. I was feeling as irritated and disturbed as a kid, who cry every morning when asked to get up and have a shower. What was it?

Was it a dream; a dream about someone whom I loved to the death. Oh Yes! I just had a dream. I recollected myself and I was standing next to the wash-basin, looking myself in the mirror and asking, “Why the hell, can I not forget her?” I was wiping my face and tears. It has been six years and still I am not able to her out of my sight.

“Now I know, the latest candy crush, most of the girls love to play; the game of Seven Fs. Find him, Friend him, Flirt him, Fun him, Fool him, Forget him, and Find next.”

“Dear God! I don’t need her back. All I want is – no more her. I am happy with whatever you gave me. Please help.” This was me eight years ago, and then I got the answers to all my shitty questions about how I can get over a dead relationship.

No denial, there is no surefire medication that can get you over the death of a relationship, but your willpower. “When I am going to be okay?” No one has the answer to this question, but you.

Thank you, God, you gave me courage and I sailed through the stormy sea; a sea full of depression, violence, anger, madness and isolation. Let me tell you how I nailed it and how I came over the heartache of a breakup.

Spit it out – let your emotions come out

Keeping things inside is a short-term solution. Move on dude! You need to understand that right after a break-up you need to convince nobody, but you. No one is interested in your sad stories and no one like sad souls either.

You need to tell yourself that you are absolutely fine and no one can else rule your life besides you. You want to abuse her, “Do it and do it loudly. You want to curse, do that. Crying is perfectly alright; by no means, it makes you weak.” It is hysterically good, though.

Before people start treating you as “Kachra (waste) or Dukhi Aatma (sad soul),” bring yourself back.

Stop torturing yourself – No one is looking

Are you thinking of slicing your veins or writing a blood-letter? “I want to live in the dark. Please leave me alone. I feel like house-arresting myself. I don’t feel like eating anything. I want to listen to sad songs. I am loving dull colors.”

Even if you know the real reason behind that break-up, you will keep asking yourself, “Okay! But, what was it actually?” Now this is not at all normal. Do you think, the one for whom you are doing all these, is going to give a shit? You need to stop pondering about it. Stop thinking about solutions of making it workable again.

Oh Boy! She is already done with you and now she might be watching a movie with someone else and that too on the corner seats. She might have a bunch of sad stories behind the break-up; do not buy those fairy tales. Instead, making yourself understand her reason, tell yourself that, “She cheated and the only thing she deserves now is – your hate.”

Knock her off – fill the spot


Be cut-throat when it is about surviving the death of a relationship. You need to be a man enough; show some guts and chuck every single thing that belongs to her; dump it the farthest your can.

Flush her photos, set all her gifts on the fire; just do it the soonest. You want to delete her emails; trash them and empty your trash box. Change your email ids. It is like wiping off every single thing that could possibly remind you of her.

I know, the deeper it is the hardest it is going to be, but always remember, “there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.” The more headspace you give, the more her memories will occupy. The golden rule is – knock her off out of your life.

Enjoy being single – It feels better

Why the fish you need someone makes you happy? Learn the real meanings of NO – “Next Opportunity.” Explore around, there are a lot more singles, ready to mingle. Give your ex a treat; share some photos of you with your current, who knows maybe she is still checking on your profiles.

If someone is ignoring you without a reason, give her a freaking reason. Instead, locking yourself to darkness, go clubbing; who know there is someone else waiting for you, someone who is far better than what you are crying for?

Get dressed, load your guns and start hunting bro. This world is so full of people with their hearts in their hands. Should you feel not falling in love again that is also acceptable; “no girlfriends, no tensions,” they say.

Take your Time – It is perfectly normally

For me, it took me half a year to get over a dead relationship. It could be a few months for your or maybe more than a year, but never ever give up. Do listen to everyone, have advice from everyone, but at the end, ask yourself; follow the echo, listen what your brain says because the heart is the culprit.

Some people I have been advised by many of my friend to go for one-night stands, but I find this suggestion a little awkward. To them, it was like, “to get over someone, get under someone.” All I wanted to say is – take your time and move at your own pace

Learn the F Rule – It is a life-savior

Let me tell you buddies, for some girls love is nothing, but a game of Seven Fs. “Find him, friend him, flirt him, fun him, fool him, forget him, and find next.” For most of the girls, boys are more or less an ATM card; the bigger your wallet is, the better your chances are.

Reminds me of a quote , “Miss A – is a friend of Mr. A, she flirts with Mr. B, she loves Mr. C, she fools Mr D., she gets married Mr. E and then have a phone friend (after marriage) Mr. F,with whom she shares her married-life secrets.” Watch it out, maybe she is just playing around. You need to learn this technique and let me remind you, “you need a brain to play games and to win one.”

The biggest secret is – the difference between a happy man and a sad man is as little as two and a half inch; the difference we have in between our heart and brain. In simpler terms, a man who thinks from heart, stays sad most of the time and the man who thinks from above, i.e. brain, stays happy most of the time.

Stop thinking about others, especially when it is about your own happiness and peace. “Who Cares!”