It’s time Quietly Quitting From A Relationship?

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Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

Do not quit because something went wrong. Quit because you tried your hardest and nothing made it better.

Forming a relationship takes nothing, but a few vows and a few moments of passion. A box of chocolate, a bucket of dreams and a gift pack of lies; that what all we need to form any sort of relationship nowadays in century 21st. Not a big deal. To break a relationship is rather easier. A social media status change or a WhatsApp message and rest is assured; R.I.P sweetheart. But, for a few of us, taking that extra courageous step of moving out from a commitment is the hardest thing, especially when we are deeply attached. To bid final goodbye and putting your emotions on quite a mode, it takes a lot of brain-storming. Most of the time, we cannot even see the mess we are in until late because we are so deep in the trenches. We are a human being and we easily fall head over heals into an obsession. Correct me if I am wrong, but after investing a lot in a relationship, we usually want to hold a dysfunctional commitment for as long as we can.

We are so feared about losing someone that we try to do every possible thing to make that kinship survive. We keep on trying to convince ourselves about why we should not quit, although deep inside we always wanted to quit. Unfortunately, if you are also struggling with such a situation and you are confused between quitting or not-quitting, then, you must be a person who prefers living in future or past. You don’t want to face the present or I would say reality. Despite being cleared about no hope, you still hope for a sunrise and you still force yourself to believe that – one day, the thing will change. I agree, quitting is not easy, but neither is hauling a corpse of a dead relationship. After certain efforts, infusing life into a dead relationship will only bring long-term pain and endless suffering. Ending a relationship means preparing for a disconnection; burying all those happy moments along with a bunch of excruciating experiences. So, what are the signs? When should you quietly quit a relationship?

He says Cry – You ask, How Loud

Dictatorship, I am talking about. Be it any relationship, personal or professionals, it is about mutual understanding and not a dictatorship. You cannot be with someone who prefers to keep things one-sided. It is not about leading anyone and it is about walking parallel. Practically, relationships are ‘give n take’ & ‘listen n speak’; under any circumstances, it cannot be only ‘give n give’ or ‘listen n listen’. The moment you find yourself being dedicated; quietly quit it.

Hit me Baby, One More Time

Are you going through the physical violence? Be it once in a blue moon or a continual barrage of chronic humiliation; if your partner is hitting you for no freaking reason, it is time to quit. Some may say, may be hitting was a reaction of rage that is also not going to happen again, but once a criminal is always a criminal. If I insulted you once, I can insult you as many as the time I feel like. It is up to you if you wants to stay with those invisible scars. The only reason to stay in that relationship is – if you can allow yourself to forget and forgive everything from the root. Beating someone is no way acceptable unless you are dealing with a man-eating zombie.

Quit getting mad at every little thing. Otherwise it won’t be long until the person you love stops saying sorry and simple walks away

Why Me! All the Time

Are you the only one who is made to compromise your standards to the level where you can fit the description of your partner? Do no do that. When it is about changing things, always ask, “Why Me!” What matters you the most, try to balance that with other things. The relationships are two-lane roads; you cannot escape a jam if you disallow traffic on one lane. Do not let anyone tell you how you should comb your hair, why you should not eat non-veg or why you must go to the church. If you do not want to be on the dreamboat of religion, then you don’t need to be on that board.

Mistakes Vs. Habits

Are you smart enough? Do you have eyes that can see the thin line between a mistake and a habit? Let me tell you; mistakes can be rectified, but habits have no cure. You need to figure it out – whether it is a bad phase of your partner’s life driving him nuts or he really enjoy acting like a dopey? You still can expect a correction of mistakes, but you cannot expect someone to change his habits. I have seen people breaking up every now and then even they are not intended to do so. But, again – if you had multiple breakups with the same partner and you are then one who is made to step forward all the time; it is time to quietly quit. Your partner is habitual of breaking it up and he won’t abstain himself from doing that again and again.

A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it

Ego – Cutting you Down

Do you see your relationship becoming a question of ego or self-esteem? Do you think your partner is spitting comments on you that belittle you? He might be doing so because he is really insecure and wants you to feel the same way. The over-possessiveness results in doubts and doubts lead to insecurity. If your partner, instead asking you about the situation, listen to others – time to quietly quit. Do not let anyone play with your self-esteem because low self-esteem means the first step towards the inferiority complex and finally, depression. When you see ego manipulating your relationship; it is time to quit because the entry of ego leads to the exit of love and faith.

Deception – The Mind Games

Trust breaching, misrepresentation of the facts, hiding things and choosing what to tell and what not to tell and try to deceive you in every possible manner; it is time to quit. Though lying to an extent is considered healthy, but in a relationship, it has no place. Should you see yourself in a situation where you cannot tell someone the truth and try to find out the ways of avoiding being in trouble, then I must say, you need to reconsider what you are doing. Cheating is no way acceptable and trust me when I say, cheating is a habit. If not, then better quit.

I am tired of being in a relationship where I am not trusted.

Disrespect – Who Gives a Fcuk

“Respect is earned,” they say. I have seen cases, where, if in public, husband-wife will behave like there are made of each other. But, behind the curtains of their living room, they are masters at dirty mind games, verbal abuses, degradation, and humiliations. There is a direct correlation between respect and healthy relationship and I don’t think I need to explain. Should someone is disrespecting you for any reason, give him a chance or ultimatum. And, in case you see no change, better you stop disrespecting yourself.

Show me the Money

Is your partner becoming a complete bluffmaster- always ask you for the secret pin numbers, bank books, finances? Do you see your partner arguing you over properties’ nominations? The more you share, the more your partner seek. Is it becoming only about money? As I relationship is a two-way lane where both partners’ share all the pains and gains equally, and the moment you see your partner trying to make it one lane, it is time to quit. He/she might be only there until you have a pocket full of Benjamin.

Foul Mouths and Emotional Blackmailing

Again, it is connected to respect and habit. You are not a piece of trash and do not let people treat you like a serviette; wipe and throw. You don’t deserve someone with a mouth full of shitty communication and bad words. The idea is – healthy communication. Alongside, emotional blackmailing got no place in a relationship either. You cannot make someone to love; it is natural. If you are with someone who carries an abusive tongue and a loose head; time to quit before too late.

Dear friends, I could keep writing about when to quit a relationship, but the most important thing is we all are different and we may not react in the same way for the exact situations. I have seen people who once were victims of cheating and actually became a stronger couple afterward. Do not overlook the voice of your common sense as it would tell you if your partner doesn’t stop doing you wrong, then it’s probably wise to move on.

The key is – we need to work a little on how to deal with these situations in a rather intelligent manner. We need to improve our understanding about the difference between forgiveness and weakness.