I am really happy for you. Bagal Mein Churi, Muh Mein Ram

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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

“Listen carefully to how a person speaks about other people to you. This is how they will speak about you to other people,” they say.

Tragedies and heartaches are a part of life, and we all under the hypnotism of five thieves; the five major human weaknesses, i.e. kaam, krodh moh, lobh, ehnkar (lust, rage, greed, attachment and conceit). A lot of motivational speeches and spiritual sermons, we listen everyday. But, let us be honest and assume that we are standing in the Almighty’s courtroom; is there anyone among us who can admit with a head high – “Yes, I was really happy for you, I was happy at your success (someone of my domain), and I literally cried when I saw that ‘someone’ crying. Being happy for Sachin Tendulkar when he won the man of the match is what we all can claim. Have you had the same happiness when one of your colleague was adorned with the best employee award? “I was present all the time, I had availed least holidays, I was always there before the time and I was the last one to leave. This is some sort of favoritism.” I doubt if I can see even a single hand raised high. Truly, there exists a huge distance between saying I am happy for you and really meaning it.

“Being happy for Sachin Tendulkar when he won the man of the match is what we all can claim. Have you had the same happiness when one of your colleague was adorned with the best employee award?”

There are people who feel sad when someone else is praised or appraised. They feel disturbed when their boss is having never-ending meetings with someone else and not them. It gives them pain-in-the-neck when they are treated as someone who are least concerned. It upsets their stomach when they are not told about something; “kuch khas nai, bus aisey hi” (nothing important, we were talking in general).” All the time this section of people is sneaking, conspiring, and traducing with one single motto; disturbing someone because this is something make them happy. They feel like dancing at someone’s failure, and at the time, they will represent themselves as the biggest sympathizer.

My dear friend, do you have such people around you? If you do, beware of them. What’s wrong with those, what makes them behave like this, and how to stay away from such losers, is a million dollars question. Let us first learn about how to recognize them. Should you see a person, behaving like a sugar candy coated in extra sugar, but sour inside or someone who is so sweet to you and so critical or cynical about others; boys and girls, you have your bad-luck charm. Gotcha. This particular species is immensely blessed with flattery and a specialization in finding out flaws and inadequacies of others. Like others, God has assigned them a job; a job of creating trouble for those who want to do something. “Listen carefully to how a person speaks about other people to you. This is how they will speak about you to other people,” they say.

The self-denial, insecurity, fear, self-preservation, pessimism, comfort zone addiction, egotism, and know-it-all-attitude, are a few reasons behind their disturbed personality. Trust me, you won’t be able to change even one out of these and being a wise person, you should be least concerned as well. Let me tell you why. First of all, we need to understand that we cannot be liked by everyone and it is exactly the same way as we cannot make everyone happy. Second most important point is – ask yourself, do you really need their approval? Third comes – do you really have the key to their brain? You cannot make them think good for you, hence, leave them the way they are. Fourth – who is controlling your life? I think this one is a simple question. You don’t want a douche-bag to control your life. The fifth point is – whom you want to impress, yourself or them? Stop trying to impress them because there is no use of teaching a pig how to sing, it will waste your time and annoy pig.

I am sure we all have that level of acumen required for judging a person. After a talk or two, you will be able to figure out their trait and the moment you see someone with above-quoted traits and someone more concerned about other people’s affairs; time to say goodbye or apart your ways as the farthest as possible.

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