Marriages are made in heaven! Oh really? Be it a love marriage or an arranged marriage, ask any couple, “How’s it?” Life sucks after marriage.
Be it a love marriage or an arranged marriage, ask any couple, “How’s it?” Many of them will say, “Life sucks after marriage.” Why most of the the married couples are sad after marriage? Who is the real culprit behind an unhappy marriage? Is it a husband, wife or someone else hiding behind the curtains and controlling everything. If there is a questions, there has to be a solution, they say. So, here is how to fix an unhappy marriage & make it better.
1Who is Governing Things?
I don’t get it, when married couples behave like kids, who need parents’ advice for every little change.
We all know about the right age for getting married. In simpler terms, we are old enough to have our own decisions.
We don’t tell our parents about what we did at honeymoon. Do we? We don’t talk about our ‘dim-light experiences’ with our mommies and daddies or other third parties (relatives that are good for nothing).
But when it comes to other issues, even as smallest as sneezing, coughing, farting, snoring or sleeping sides; we feel like sharing it instantly with our parents. Why?
99.99% these suggestions spoil things. Be it a husband or wife, in most cases, both have seen indulging their parents especially their mommies. They take their temporary problems to their mommies like a nappy-wearing kid.
Without any shadow of the doubt, there are parents who want their kid to win every argument by hook or crook. Though they know, the filthiest tactics they are churning and spoon feeding their kids with, going to work like fumes. Despite knowing this, they barely resist from spoiling their kids’ marriage.
Guys, you need to figure it out, who is governing your relationship? Instead of talking about each other, start talking with each other and keep your families out of this.
We see the world the way we want to see and not the way it actually is. In some cases, we are given 3D glasses to see the things the way directors want us to see.
The point is – are you really buying that shit and are going to doubt your partner?
If your partner is late, there must be a reason. It could be a project deadline. You got to trust. Questions are welcome, but only to the extent of self-respect.
You should learn the difference between ego and self-respect. Let me break it for you. When my parents say, “I am a lazy bugger. I don’t know shit. I am wasting everything like an idiot,” I never get upset and I never take things personally.
But, when same statements come from partner, you going to take them everything on you and to your ego like an assault.
You don’t feel insecure if a five-year-old kid tells you that you stink, but you will get offended, when your colleague tells you the same thing.
You need to understand that ego is nothing but a sense of insecurity. The dilemma is—why am I so self-doubting? Shame on me!
Be it any gender, any country; marriage is all about adjustments.
A girl who is coming from another background with different values, she has to understand that she is now a part of another family with a completely different approach.
Same applies in the case of boy. Instead of screaming at thing, he must allow adequate time for things to settle down.
Despite “Kundali Milan,” we still need to work on compatibility and this is an ongoing process.
5BUY THE MOON
We all live in a world of dream.
Marriage is like a watermelon and you would know the real colors only after cutting it in half.
Dreams fade away and instead of “moon and stars,” love birds are left with, “Aata and Daal.”
Someone truly said, “Expectations lead to disappointment and unrealistic desires mean unbearable pain, thus, expect the least.
Let us not be a hard nut to crack. There is no such thing called – unhappy marriage. It is all about unhappy personality. Be real. Maturity is not a matter of increase shoe size, but improved emotional intelligence.