Despite showing endless love, care, and concerns, I was told that I am not required at all.
Half of the life I spent in learning how to be an important personality and rest of the life, I am spending on figuring out how important am I?
It is a consistent struggle; the struggle of being on the top of the world. I am trying my level best to make people have me in their lists of “invitees” and keep me in their good books. But, sadly, they keep telling me that I am just an option and not at all important. Well, I am sure, it is not only me. Let me ask you, how important you think you really are?
Well, be it your professional boundaries or personal, there is always a somebody to replace you and the vacant position of yours. Every time I thought that I am an irreplaceable personality; I noticed I was just kidding myself.
I always was a dedicated person and I always gave one hundred percent to things. I know there is no such thing called one hundred percent unless you deliver the expected results.
I mean, no matter how hard you have been working for something, people around you are more concerned about results and not your efforts. So, assuming that your hard work or dedication is going to bring you in the good eyes, is just a myth of yours.
Am I saying that you are not supposed to put any sweat in whatever you are doing? No, not at all. I am not advocating that. All I am saying is – do your work, but no expect anything. Can you do that? Are you ready to have a bullet in your chest for no gallantry award or social recognition? I seriously doubt.
It was not only about professional fronts. I experienced the same while being around my family members and friends. Despite showing endless love, care, and concerns, I was told on many different circumstances that I am not required at all.
It is not that I had not received an invite, but they never raised a question about my absence? They never bothered asking why was I not there? At the end of the day, it was me and my questions only. I keep asking myself, what was the use of that invitation card, when my absent raised no question. Well, maybe I am not that important.
Oh Yes! There remains no scope for a “maybe.” It is crystal clear now that I am a “who”.
But, why is it happening? Why am I so much bothered about others’ ignorance? People say that absence makes people realize your presence. But, in my case – no one seems concerned.
Then, I realized the truth. No one gives a shit and no one is going to die. It is only me.
I need to redo my policies about me and my importance. I need to update my list of friends. I seriously need to reconsider my check-ins at places. I should be concerned only about only those who are concerned about me. I need to keep it simple; if you are not taking any initiative, don’t expect the same from me.
I must stop expecting people to vote in my favor. I must stop making my irreplaceable. It is a dangerous highway and the last station of this highway is going to be lifetime regrets, bitterness, and disappointment.