How to deal with an angry spouse

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How to deal with an angry spouse
How to deal with an angry spouse
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Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

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Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

Regardless of geographical boundaries, domestic fights are common. I have seen couples attending seminars to know how to fix it. Psychiatrists are busy selling their books. Is it that hard to deal with an angry spouse?

I believe, anyone with a little emotional intelligence knows how to handle this. Trust me, there is no NASA science involved, but a simple logic. “Just keep the ego satisfy and rest is assured.” One wrong move is all you need to get you in a lifetime trouble. Therefore, before jumping into the pool of fire, it is very important to understand how to deal with an angry spouse.

1When they are angry, stop giving them facts

When a woman is furious, men often want to come up with rational arguments to appease the situation. That does not work for women.

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When she is angry, she is not interested in the facts. Stop giving them facts, as they are not going to work in the situation, but will raise her temperature.

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In many cases, the facts will make it worse because the moment you start giving facts, they get the feeling that you are not listening to them and not at all respecting them.

2As a male, do not lose your cool

When a woman gets mad and starts yelling, it is quite obvious that you are going to mad at her too. In the worst case, you won’t be in the mood for leaving any chance of confrontation.

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By doing so, you are not only feeding her rage but encouraging her to fight for a longer duration. Try to stay calm, and try not to take over her anger. Initially you will find it horrible and bad, but later on, after the ceasefire, you can put the blame on her. This is when she is going to feel guilty.

3No matter what she has to say, just listen to her

Big or small, if there is a problem, you must listen to her, with both ears. In many cases, you do not even have to answer, but just listen. It is her story and in her style. Dare not to look here and there, especially when she sighs and rolls her eyes. In case you do that, be ready for another scoop on top.

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When you give her attention, she has no reason to be even angrier. Nod occasionally, confirm that you are listening, and try substantive answers. Even though this is not in your character, yet this is a critical part of a relationship.

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4If you are wrong, just admit it

Have you made a stupid mistake? Be honest and confess that you have been stupid. Do not do that in a pedantic way. Do not be arrogant, but accept that you are not perfect and take the responsibility as a man.

5Just make her feel that you are listening

You do not always have to agree with her, but you can say that you know what she means, especially when she is criticizing your own behavior. By taking her seriously, you are making her feel appreciated and this is the best way to calm her.

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Women get angry when something is unfair (in her eyes), beyond her control, and more likely a personal attack. Make sure, you may have to deal with these scenarios. So, be prepared for putting extra effort and energy.

6Maintain eye-contact

If you are trying to avoid an eye-contact, you are telling her that you’re also in a mood of the clash. Moreover, for women, no eye contact means you are listening but ignoring. This is going to make them more furious. So, do not miss an eye-contact.

7Ask questions during her rage, but the unique ones

Ask occasional questions during her rage and never ask something that she had already told you because this will have an opposite effect.

Do ask questions related to the situation. The main purpose of asking questions is breaking her anger. Reminds me of a quote, “ if you want to win an argument, ask questions.”

By asking questions you will be proving her that you are listening, and you are interested. In addition, you want to know more about what happened and you will be adding bonus points.

8Never walk away from the place

During an argument, walking away from the place of the altercation is not a wise thing to do. However, the best thing you can do is to make her move with you and this will help you both in avoiding the tense atmosphere. That way you’ll be much faster towards a solution, and you give her the chance to use her energy elsewhere.

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9Set Your Limits

It should not be a win-win situation for your female partner all the time. Do not let the woman believe that she is always right. You need to make it very clear. Set your limits and make sure you are not encouraging negative behavior.

Try these tricks and save your relationship. At the end, always remember, it takes years to maintain a relationship, but only five minutes to break.