Funny Confession – The Day When I First Masturbated

Funny Confession – The Day When I First Masturbated
Funny Confession – The Day When I First Masturbated
Photo Credit: Feel Photo Art / Bigstockphoto


  1. My cousin gave me the instructions.
  2. My first attempt was a funny, but painful.
  3. In my second attempt, I tasted the success.

Little did I remember about what I studied in my 8th standard, but the incident that took place around the same class and I can never get off my brain from was – when I first jerked off; my funny confession about my first masturbation.

I am not a medical student, so I have no idea about the theories that revolve around the testosterone levels. For me, it was a case of peer-pressure. Funny! But, that is true to my consent. I am going to talk about the the day when I first masturbated.

I remember, those were the days of my board exams and I was completely new to this group-studies concept. I am talking about the days, when land-line phones (in India) was a luxury that only higher-income group people can afford.

Mathematics; I used to hate the most. Till today, the “mensuration formulas” & “train and distance” theories scares me. I was always an average student. And, at such a time help from a brilliant student is more likely a prayer answered.

Harry; the math genius called me up for a group studies. I was like, “hell yeah, dude.” I am coming right over. I was completely unaware of the next thing. The moment I entered his place, “it was complete silence.”

5-6 guys in shorts were sitting right in-front of the television and there faces were like they did saw something that they should not. They all were staring at me like a butcher stares at a chicken.

What is it guys? I bounced back with the excitement. What were you guys watching?

Next moment, harry turned the television and VCR on. They were watching “nude film.” Oh my goodness, for the first time in my life after 14 years, I was witnessing a naked lady with two naked men on a 21 inch screen colored television.

I was speechless and my eyes were wide open. Well, the big-bang theory lasted for an hour and fear of mathematics exam was all gone. I don’t know, how come, all of sudden, I felt like I will manage to secure passing marks anyhow.

ALSO READ : Masturbation – Exciting facts about self-satisfaction

I came home. Instead of mathematics, it was science in my mind now; the sexual science. I was restless. I remember, I was sleepless and my hand was consistently exploring my undies. Next morning, I shared the doubts with my cousin brother and he asked me if I know anything about Masturbation?

I was blank. Never heard of the term. “He gave me the direction using a banana. All you have to do is – replace this banana with your banana and you won’t be a banana anymore. And, do keep in mind that you are not stopping until you see juice coming out of your banana.” (In conclusion – there was naughty laugh)

After an hour long thought process on his instruction manual and with a few heavy steps, I entered in the washroom. I swear to God, I repeated the motion told for 30 minutes or so, but there was no juice. With a painful arm, I pissed and came out.

Approached my cousin again and this time he came up with a new theory. “You need to imagine. You need to focus. While jerking your whiner, you need to think about someone you really want to kiss and hug in loneliness.”

Oh! okay. I got it. Last time I was only thinking about my next exam.

Well, I followed his instruction and this time, I tasted the success; took only 10 minutes. Wow! What a feeling it was. I felt like I was lighter-than-air and never had the same experience before. It was like a stress-buster and trust me, it was like F5 button of your keyboard – complete refresh.

I shared my experience with my mates and many of them labeled me as a “late comer.” They all laughed at my first attempt experience. They shared their own and that made me laugh too.

What was your experience and how old were you when you stepped-in this men’s gallery for the first time? Share in the comment section below.