Cheating is becoming a fashion nowadays, especially when it is about relationships. Despite knowing that after crossing the threshold of trust, we are cheating no one else, but self; we purposely vote for irreconcilable differences. A research revealed nearly one-third of the participants were in extramarital affairs, be it male or female.
We, the people of this nation are still struggling about its spuriousness and every individual have his/her own opinion about it; for a few, a mere mention is sinful, but for others, this is nothing but a result of bitterness in their existing relationship.
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We are human beings, we need love and care and that too on our own terms; the way we like it and the amount we want. Be it (hidden) polygamy or polyandry, the statistics are soaring and eating our relationships as termites.
Who is the main culprit? The question is like a table-tennis ball; when asked, both the husband and wife love to pass it on to each other and the game goes on as long as one misses the hit.
Should you ask a relationship expert, both are the offenders according to them. “It takes two to clap with one hand.”
Unlike other games, the one who plays (cheat) is the one who loses. The breach of trust that happens accidentally makes a person steps out of the sanctity of a committed relationship.
What makes someone to cross his/her limit and what makes him/her to cheat someone whom they took as their soul-mate a few months or years ago? The straight and simple answer is – stubbornness. We want to change every single person around us, but no self.
People look for solutions, but in real, the reasons are the solutions itself. Instead, finding solutions somewhere else, better go for a self-appraisal.
Getting Married for Right Reason
Never get married unless you understand the purpose of it. Most of the time, people tie knots for wrong reasons and family/society pressure is one of them.
Quite obviously, if you do something under pressure, you won’t be able to stick to that for a long. Be it a decision for marriage or something else, if you are not completely into it, you are going to regret one day.
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You may be forced to like someone, but the moment you find someone whom you start liking, you are bound to cross your boundaries. So, before getting married, priorities your expectations.
Learn to Append and Amend
Undeniably, life throws a lot of changes every day. To an extent, people try to cope up with those, but when they become a real-time challenge that is hard to deal with like longer financial distresses or serious illness; people apart their ways.
In such situations, they surrender them to new arms. Instead, learning to append and amend; being slaves of our senses, we behave the way our senses want us to.
Being Parents means Disturbed Partners
With a few exceptions, becoming a parent actually becomes the biggest challenge for some couples. Priorities change because after being a parent you go to allocate a big proportion of your time to your baby that you supposed to spend together earlier.
While mothers are busy being mommies, daddies miss the amount of attention they are addicted to. I do know many men who think the reason behind their extramarital affair is – feeling unimportant. It is okay to shift priorities, but one should not change them completely; adding new and deleting existing.
Physical and Emotional Discontentment
Despite any gender, given a chance, people won’t shy away from crossing the limits in the search of physical or emotional comfort. I have seen cases where the couple doesn’t talk much and the only topic they discuss is – household expenses.
There is no rocket science behind having an emotional connectivity with someone. You need to talk, you need to listen, you should share a few laughs, show your partner that you care because this is how you are going to connect with someone. Remember, we all are on an emotional roller-coaster ride where we always need a partner and we cannot afford disconnections.
Disagreements and Conflicts of Common Interests
Tough situations lead to tough decisions and one may have to pay a bigger price for it. Sometimes life behaves like a bitch and when it becomes a question of survival, you have to be a bitch too.
Whether it is about disagreements or about common interest divergence, your decisions may not be appetizing for the people around you, especially your spouse and this is the time that triggers extramarital affair.
Quite a natural phenomenon, if I am not finding anything common in my partner, I will incline to someone else who share the same interest.
Money is Honey and Honey is Money
We live in a world full of materialism and we need money to buy these material things. No doubt, money plays an important role in relationships today. We tend to fall for any support that knocks our doors at the hours of financial adversities. If that helping hand is offering a pair of ears as well for our woes; it is like a bonus for us.
Over Possessiveness and Over-Protectiveness
A required amount of possessiveness and protectiveness is desired and a must as well. But, “excess of everything is bad,” they say. Jealousy, over-possessiveness, over-protectiveness leads to doubt and doubts results in endless sessions of never ending baseless queries.
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Nobody likes when people raise baseless questions on someone’s integrity. After all, it is a matter of self-respect. “I mean, what is the point of 10 calls a day? No one wants to be tracked whole day.”
I have seen cases very partners get suspicious at the mere mention of an opposite sex colleague. For God sake, I don’t like anyone to tell me what should I eat or wear. We need to learn the difference between being possessive or protective and over-overprotective or over-possessive.
Insecurities, Attentions, and Lust for Flattery
Husband or wife, young or old; at a point of another, we all feel insecure, we all get laid for fake attentions. A few words of sugar-coated flattery speech in our ears and the affair is bound to happen.
All one got to do is – spot such a personality, feed him/her with your fake concerns and show that you are really worried about that person’s happiness; you are done. An extramarital affair is on its way.
These are a few reasons behind the rapidly plummeting graphs of morality among couples. I don’t advocate staying in a relationship that is already killing, but crossing the threshold for things that are amendable is no way a solution.