I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me. Or, I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.
“I prefer not to hurt anyone with my words. I love to keep my emotions to me and I don’t want to share my pains and troubles with anyone. Being a kid I was told to not to speak my thoughts because if I do so, I might be insulting someone. I am not wise enough to handle a talk (gossip) and I am not elder enough to retaliate. I am not smart enough to play with words and anyone can fool me easily.” This is how I was grown up and by the time I realized that silence is not always golden, it was already too late. I am now a good listener. Anyone is free to say anything to me. I let people play with my emotions and I am more likely an open invitation to the people – “come, give me some.” I know it hurts very badly, and now I think I need to change my ideologies – “Someone is watching and do good and have good.”
Silence is not always golden. One must speak out the pain before this ulcer becomes incurable cancer. People won’t ask you how you want things to be, but they love telling you how you should be doing. They would never appreciate your decisions and when you show dependence, they are going to be the first person to criticize you for not having decisions. Do you know why? Because they don’t like you talking and they expect a complete silence from you. To them, you are a puppet and they have are the masters; they want you to dance according to the string they pull. Actually, it is not anyone’s fault, but yours. If you go a little deeper; it is not even your fault. For you, making them a part of your decisions is the ‘respect for them,’ but they consider it as your incapability. Taking a stand for your dreams and thoughts is a must, my dear friends, and this stand is known as mastering at emotional intelligence. It is said that “genius is one, who have developed an emotional intelligence and he will have what he wants and a loser is a simple man, who have not yet mastered his emotional volcano.” According to psychologists, a person with a strong emotional intelligence will never suffer from depression and temporary failure won’t strike him out and won’t stop him from going further. “Fortune favors the brave,” they say.
What is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate the emotions and is one of the most important aspects of human personality, which is very much essential for success in life. Emotional intelligence helps you manage your own emotions, control your limits and is the way you can overcome yourself as a person. A person lacking emotional intelligence is prone to suffer from personal and professional failures. Also, there is a direct correlation between the success of various professional and personal relationships and the control over one’s sentiments. Without a hardheaded strategy for managing your emotional intelligence, it will be more or less like living in a jungle without the safety measures – the weapons and medications.
Never Hide Your Feelings – Express Your Sentiments
Good people often tend to hide, control, or/and ignore their feelings that they find uncomfortable to live with because they think to express these emotions will make them look dwarf, disobedient and rude. If a person is not emotionally developed, he will find it very hard to express these uncomfortable feelings. But, instead burying it inside the better option is – ask yourself and analyze yourself: “How do I feel today?” And, if the answer is negative and you are not feeling comfortable, then you must workout on things that make you feel comfortable. With a plan for mastering these unpleasant emotions, you won’t only be able to manage things calmly, but you will also learn to finally overcome. Therefore, never ever keep emotional sufferings to you because this will result in a lifetime trauma and feelings of personal insecurity.
Do Not Judge Your Feelings And Do Not Require You Feel!
Before mastering emotional intelligence, you need to understand that both the positive and negative sentiments are perfectly normal. In addition, there is nothing absurd if your thoughts or feeling are not aligning and contradicting with someone’s feelings standing right next to you. You are not supposed to give up on your ideas and you must understand that you are the creator of your destiny. Strive to put in agreements with your thoughts and feelings and you must have faith in you that you have the courage to say what you feel and what you think, even if it comes in disagreement with some principles or social rules or some context.
Observe Body’s Physiological Reactions
The reactions like cold, sweat, butterflies in the stomach, emotions, etc., indicate the truth of your body. Never ignore and always pay attention to what your body tells because the feelings expressed within are always true. When you feel a knot in your stomach especially when you are about to something that you have never done before, without a doubt, this is going to be a stressful activity, and the nervousness is perfectly fine. If your heart fluttering while talking about something or someone, then it is a sign of affections and interest, an indicator of your passions and concerns. So, before mastering your emotional intelligence, you need to master your body’s physiological reactions.
Analyze Unconscious Feelings
They say that the subconscious is the biggest friend of yours because it knows everything about you. The irony is most of us don’t know anything about it. So, one need to understand the science behind the feelings and moods that come from our subconscious. Dreams and desires are the real and tangible manifestations of the subconscious and they say a lot about whom you are and what you do not know about you. Do not forget that most of the dream are the expression of strong emotions and some desires are compensations of frustration.
Look At The People Around You And Evaluate Carefully Balance
Emotional intelligence is not only a concept of mastering oneself from within, but also features real understanding of those around you. For example, if you are going to approach a girl with high emotional intelligence who will never fall in useless things like affairs, then you are only wasting your time. In addition, she will always make good choices to balance herself. In simpler terms, a woman with emotional intelligence will know how to build a normal relationship with her life partner. On the other side, a misfit or undeveloped emotional intelligent person will only face failures in love and emotional trauma.
Should you master yourself with our emotional intelligence, you will be on a better platform for decision making. And, decisions free from any emotional blunders are the wisest decisions. Using our emotional intelligence in each activity within our lives, we can get to experience peace and inner peace. Indisputably, we can not ignore the negative things around us, but once we have mastered our emotional intelligence, we can move more easily over life issues understanding that everything happens for a purpose.