- Before kid, parents need to read about child sexual abuse.
- Make him feel comfortable while talking about sex.
- Not listening to children will make them feel unsafe.
People ask, how can a person abuse a child. I ask, how can so many good people not do anything about it.
I had a very close encounter with this epidemic called child sexual abuse. I came home for lunch and I saw Mrs. Sharma, my neighbor standing next to her main gate and was looking tensed. “Everything okay, Mrs. Sharma? I asked her. “Sheryl, my daughter is not home yet,” she replied.
It was around 2 in the afternoon and her daughter supposed to be back by 1. I was not a part of her worry. “Where is Mr. Sharma?” I asked. He is on a business tour to Dubai; won’t be available until this weekend.
Oh! Okay. But, it is quite late. Let us go to her school and find out.
We reached her school and after looking everywhere, we found her sleeping on the last seat of her school bus. Her eyes were telling a story; like she cried a lot before sleeping.
After having some harsh arguments with school management, we brought her back. Later that night, it was 1 in the night, when someone rang our doorbell. I saw it was Mrs. Sharma. “Sheryl is crying of pain. She is too young to explain what exactly is wrong with her.” We took her hospital and after an initial inspection, the doctor informed us about something that was hard to believe.
“She is suffering from genital injuries. Someone attempted rape on her, but failed. However, there are semen traces. And, we also noticed that she have been going to rectal problems; anus injury. You better lodge a police complaint.” Me and Mrs. Sharma were in a deep state of shock.
I wanted to shout at her mother, but I opted to not to lose my control. “I saw regrets in Mrs. Sharma’s eye. Police informed Mr. Sharma and he was back. I saw that little angel of 8 was going through such an acute pain.
Mr. Sharma thanked me for the help and I was on my way back home. I was so badly broken inside. How can someone be so cruel to a kid? How inhuman it is to abuse a kid, who don’t even know what is happening to her.
I reached home and talked to my wife. My wife said, “it is Mrs. Sharma’s fault completely. I know. I was there that day when Sheryl was crying a lot after stooling. She was bleeding and her mother said, it is just because of constipation.
She told her mother that she doesn’t like in a bus. She doesn’t like the bus driver. He tries to touch her at the wrong places. Mrs. Sharma, instead of giving an ear to her, shouted at her, “you are not that old to talk about all these nonsense things. I know you are saying this all because you want to skip the school. Let me make it loud and clear, “these tricks are not going to work; at least not with me.” You get it straight.
I was thinking, why would a kid talk like this? Something is not right and there must be some reasons. And, here it is. That small girl was seeking a help about her pain from her mother and her mother was not there to protect her. Since last 4 days, she was telling her mother, ”driver uncle touching me down there; the bad touch.” But, Mrs. Sharma was not taking it seriously.
Even I insisted her to at least check things for once, but she said, “Don’t worry, she is rehearsing her ‘good touch and bad touch lessons. And, now because of Mrs. Sharma’s foolishness that little angel is suffering. God! Please take good care of that little baby.
According to me, before kids parents need to have some lessons on child abuse. There is no use of teaching kids about ‘good touch and bad touch’ if their parents are not in a mood to listen to their pain. We must tell parents that child sexual abuse is serious and unfortunately very common, affecting both boys and girls.
Most offenders are known to the child. They may be their family members, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, babysitters, and others who hold positions of authority. No doubt, every parent want an obedient, submissive and respectful kid.
However, kids who are nurtured this way becomes an easy target for these sex offender. They know, kids are not going to tell anything to anyone because either they are scared of doing so or they will scare them to not to do so.
Dear Sheryl, I am so sorry for you. Wish I could force your mother to attend child-abuse awareness classes that I attended last year. I am sorry that I am of no help to you at this stage. But, I can at least share the tips that I learned.
Tips That Can Minimize The Risk of Child Molestation
In childhood, parents can teach their children the name of genitals as teach their own names or other parts of the body. This will help kids understand that talking about genitals with their parents is not weird and they are allowed to talk.
Parents can teach their children about the privacy of certain small parts of the body, and that nobody has the right to touch those parts. Children must also learn to respect the privacy rights of others in the same context.
Teach your children that there are no secrets between children and parents. And, make them feel comfortable talking to their parents about anything – good or bad, happy or sad, easy or difficult.
Observe those adults closely that offer special gifts or toys to children. Monitor and participate in various activities whenever possible.
Depending on the age of the children, create an environment at home where sexual themes can be discussed comfortably. Use news and published reports of child sexual abuse to start discussions of safety, and to remind children that they should always tell a parent of someone taking advantage of her sexually.
Most often, children are not believed, especially in cases where the perpetrator is a family member. Contact your pediatrician, your local child protection, or police. Protect your child, making him understand that he is not responsible for abuse.