Why Do Women Tolerate Extramarital Affairs in India

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Why Do Women Tolerate Extramarital Affairs in India
Why Do Women Tolerate Extramarital Affairs in India
Photo Credit: A and N photography / Bigstockphoto
Vishakha Rawal

Vishakha Rawal

A Wordsmith Trying to Win People With Her Words

An ambivert, a humanist, a true philotherian, dreamer, loves adding and checking things off the bucket list, movie buff, an avid traveler, an amateur artist, writer, blogger, engineer, and yes an entrepreneur as well!

Wedding vows are a very special part of every marriage. Promises are exchanged between the two people about loving each other forever, caring for each other forever, respecting and trusting each other forever. But, with the passage of time, feelings fade. Why?

When we say infidelity or an extramarital affair in India, what do we exactly mean by it? Is it about flirting with somebody who is not your partner, having sex with someone who is not your partner, or those massage appointments? Quite questionable. Aren’t they?

Well, anything you do that can break your vows is considered to be infidelity or cheating in simple terms.

Sadly, the number of infidelity cases and wedding ceremonies are attaining an equilibrium point nowadays; almost same. Not only in the case of arrange marriages, but you’ll be surprised to know that even couples who had a love marriage, experienced this storm.

No offense, but infidelity is universally practiced. The only difference is, in the other parts of the world, women barely hesitate from taking a stand against their cheating husbands and never ask for a second opinion before divorcing them, in India, women are still tolerating the extra-marital affairs of their husband.

Why? It is patience, helplessness, illiteracy, poor parenting, or dependency?

Being an Indian, I am very much familiar with the parenting style of Indians.

Although we talk a lot about women empowerment, but in India, all her life women have been taught about keeping a family intact and never to give up on it.

I agree that there are changes happening. However, should you talk to any married Indian lady, every fourth women you will have, is going to narrate you a pain of how burdened they are; burden of reward-less responsibilities and sacrifices.

They literally invest their body and soul in a marriage and this is the vital reason they tend to forgive their cheating husband.

For them, there is no option available except giving him second, third or even fourth chances! And, the main reasons behind this are –

1. Societal pressure on a divorced woman or a single mother

The way our Indian society see a divorced woman is unimaginable. Somehow I wonder what’s the use of all these “right to education” and “man-woman equality movements,” when at the end, it is going to be man-man game.

When a woman gets a divorce, everybody else questions her; questions about her capabilities of being an ideal wife, mother, and daughter-in-law.

I feel no shame in saying that still our society is not ready to accept a single mother. People look at them like they are not some sort of aliens. With a few exceptions, most of the men have one real motive behind the fake sympathies; subscription to her bedroom.

Instead of praising her courage and bravery of her to take such a big step in life to make her and her children’s life worth living, society treats her like a stigma.

In other parts of the world, a divorced woman or a single mother doesn’t lose her status in the society and can easily find another mate for herself. But, this is not case in India.

2. Lack of income

More than 50% of women in India are a home maker (by choice or they are forced to be one) and are dependent on their husband for financial support. Leaving their husband means becoming financially handicapped.

Hence they have to think a lot before thinking of a divorce as a solution especially when children are involved!

3. Their self-critical nature

When a man starts finding love in some other woman, the first thought a wife gets is “Am I not enough for him?”

This self-critical nature of theirs lower their self-esteem. This makes them think that they are incapable of keeping a man happy and won’t be able to find somebody else after him.

Dear ladies, you may have many more reasons for staying with an idiot. I would like to ask you all – “Why would you live with person who treats you like an animal? Why would you treat someone as your top priority, when he treats you like an option?”

Are you afraid?

I am not advocating legal separations. It is always better to sort family matters within the four walls. But, after a confirmation, what is the fun of tolerating infidelity.

Remember once a cheater is always a cheater. Trust and respect are the most valuable vows in a marriage and once they are broken, your marriage is broken!

SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY.