“Oh, that cute guy sitting across our table is totally checking you out”, I said to my friend. She said, “OK.”
A dull boring OK I mean not even an OK with an exclamation mark. Who would want to miss this opportunity? Like who? I wish I could explain how adorable that guy was but my friend just won’t look at him and she rejected him even before the first “hi”. Well, I was not totally mad at her because I understood this air of melancholy around her, after all, I was not new to that pensive mood!
Break-ups are hard, especially the first one! I can totally relate to it, nothing can beat the feeling of finally being in a relationship with somebody who is your first love, nothing can beat those butterflies in your stomach.
It’s like a fairy-tale coming true, you plan the whole future with that one person – from getting married to having how many no. of kids, to even growing old together. Suddenly when you break up, that entire world of your dreams collapse!
Many times, more than the person, it becomes difficult to give up on those dreams that you have weaved together.
While you’re going through this despondency, of course, the thought of getting into a relationship or even dating is far far away from those complex cluster of your thoughts.
So, this one night, we had planned for a girls-night-in and we ended up talking about our first break-ups.
You won’t believe, we all almost had the same thoughts going in our head in our post-breakup phase and I can totally jot down some to learn why we tend to prefer being single after our first break-up. Well, it’s not a rocket science but totally psychology:
You Are Still Attached
Even when the break-up is brutal or it’s a mutually decided break-up, there’s always some part of you still attached to that person.
Many times there’s a lot of on and off relationship status going on which makes it difficult to get involved with somebody else.
You never know when love happens to you but it’s really difficult when you have to let go of that love for both your and your partner’s better future.
You Instantly Start Comparing Your Ex
It happens a lot…you were with your then partner for a reason right? Of course, many things in him/her would have made you go weak in your knees!
When you meet someone new immediately after your break-up, you start comparing the qualities of your present beau to the qualities of your ex.
Trust me, you don’t want that! comparing is the worst thing that can happen in any relationship.
Fear of Getting Hurt Again
After all that trauma and despair, you really want to be cautious when it comes to your next relationship. That fear always stays in the beginning because you don’t really want your worst dreams to come true about relationships.
Figuring out Life
When you are in a relationship, your life revolves around that particular person all the time and after a break-up, you literally can feel that void.
That emptiness is all you want to work on to fill-in and it’s always a bad idea to try to fill-in using somebody as a rebound. That way, you can never heal for real.
So, it’s always good to take some time to get your identity back and settle down confidently as an individual.