‘First time!’ These two words are enough to say a lot.
First time when you smoked, your first glass of alcohol, your first adult movie, first time when you masturbated, first time when you proposed a girl, first time when you touched your girlfriend, first time when you hugged her, first time when you kissed her, and when you had sex for the first time.
- I was worried about the pain.
- I was thinking about the bleeding.
- I was concerned about the infections.
- What others are going to say about me?
In my life, this moment came in when I was of 21. I would prefer to use a fake name – Selena; as she is happily married now. Well, it all began when I joined university for my post graduation and Selena was one semester ahead of me. I was good at Economics and she was brilliant with Cost Accounting. We used to help each other with these subjects.
It all started with sharing adult jokes. At that time, none of us had any idea about the storm we were heading to. With every adult joke, we were crossing our limits. And, the day came when we Selena asked me do I see porn movies or not? I was in complete state of shock.
I was confused; should I tell her truth and lose her or should I fake myself. But, I gave an honest answer. “Yes! I do.” And, Selena’s next statement gave me goose-bumps. “Can we watch a porn together?”
Well, it was cold days of July, when we shared the same couch while watching porn. For the first time, I was watching an adult movie with a girl. And, we were looking at each other. After finishing the movie, she behaved like she wanted to leave the soonest possible. I smelled the fear and respecting her feelings, I dropped her at the station.
While I was driving back to the home, I was thinking, “I should have tried to stop her.” At the same night, around 1 AM in the midnight, my phone rang. It was Selena. “Let us do it.” This one line text message gave me the same feeling that I had after winning a ‘wheel-of-fortune’ jackpot.
At same very night, she sent me a message – “Is it your first time?” I asked her. “Yes! I never had it before. I am so scared. I am scared about pain, about any infection, about penetration, and above all, about losing my virginity and getting pregnant. But, I hope you might not be doing for the first time.”
“No, I am not doing it for the first time. It is going to be fine.” This time, I cheated. It was my first time too.
That night, I was full of questions. I was worried about my own fears. What if I under-performed because living with that stigma is going to be very hard. I was scared of the pain. The ideas of contracting with an infection or disease were also ruling my mind.
I was thinking about, “what other people are going to say.” I have heard a lot about the sex and bleeding. I was thinking so much about sex that at one moment it made feel like I am some kind of sex maniac.
Well, I called a friend of mine; a sex specialist. He helped me with these queries.
He advised me to not to lose my calm. The fear is perfectly normal and he made me believe that I am not the first person who has to go through this. About pain, he advised me not to read much about mishaps and bad experiences. Yes! A little is unavoidable.
As far as the question of performance is concerned, it depends upon on. Focus on kissing, touching, caressing as much as you can. Do not rush things; go as slow as you can. Initiate conversations and read about positions if you can. Make sure, once an erection goes away, you are supposed to stop; the possibilities of condom slipping are higher.
He was explaining things to me. Do not go dry. Use lubricant or wait for the automatic lubrication; female do get wet once they are excited. Don’t rush your thought, you will get my point once you have your first encounter.
About bleeding, let me tell you,“in many cases hymen is extremely elastic. And, this type of hymen can be stretched when having sex without breaking, if there is a sufficient opening.” Also, dryness is a reason behind that bleeding or scratches.
Let me tell you about infections. There are certain infections that even a condom cannot protect you like S.T.D. Hope, you are not doing it with an unhygienic person. Should you feel any physical discomfort after intercourse, it is better to get scanned.
After hanging up his phone, I was almost ready for the action.
Next morning, she visited me again and I noticed she was not looking in my eyes. She was little uncomfortable or maybe scared. I escorted her to my bedroom. After holding her hand, I first decided to make her feel at home; I was telling her the things that I just came to know a night before. I was explaining to her like an expert.