Unhappy Marriage – How To Make Things Better Without Separating

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Photo Credit: Kasia Bialasiewicz / Bigstockphoto
Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

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HIGHLIGHTS

  1. We need to learn the basics of marriage.
  2. Marriage is not for self-centered personalities.
  3. Separation is not a solution.

You are having an unhappy relationship and the only option you see is – separation or in legal terminologies, people name it as divorce.

From the last few decades, the numbers of divorces, legal separation or unhappy marriage cases are increasing like the point on stock exchange board; an upward trend. The experts say we need to treat this with realism before we lose control on this.

About marriage, we all are probably reading the wrong books and following the wrong philosophies. I have heard people saying that “their marriage was going through a very rough and complicated phase, so they voted for divorce.” Well, it is inaccurate to say, “those passed through a complicated marriage” because every marriage is complicated in its own way, there is no marriage without headaches.

Secondly, is not really love what they seek, but attention, passion, and happiness devoid of problems that characterize the onset of a relationship. What they all want is happiness, but on their own selfish terms and without offering anything. This is a reason behind the conflict and relationship’s destabilization.

We need to understand that marriage has more to do with boredom, routine, repetitive arguments and cyclical conversations than with happiness. In short, the magic from the beginning is replaced by routine patience with impatience and beautiful replicas scathing words and accusations.

Usually, the disintegration of the relationship begins and unfolds gradually, almost imperceptibly.

In most cases, the marriage suffers a long process of deterioration of the relationship, a process spanning months and even years, as per experts.

Four Indicators of Imminent Danger Signals In A Marriage.
  • The manifestation of discontent – When a couple is not happy together and they leave no chance of expressing it.
  • Self-defense – “I am on the lookout. You are the enemy, and I do not want you near me. “
  • Contempt – Disliking and anger are interrelated that we all know. And, anger can breed disrespect. This is another indication of disagreement, and finally – divergence.
  • The withdrawal – When partners start withdrawing their consents from emotional and physical situations.

What Do People Can Do When They Are Having Unhappy Marriages?

Distractions

First, comes those, who look for happiness elsewhere. They neither enjoy nor show any sorrow, but simply redirect their attention to other distractions.

Ignoring

They are the ones who sit next to their partners just physically, but not listen and do not even participate in discussions. They ignore things and react like, “who cares.” For them, there is no connection between partner. They are together just because of their social image.

Extra-Marital Affairs

There are those who have an affair or who are always connected to the Internet through laptop, tablet or smartphone. Should you see a married couple in this group that is the last level. Divorce in this case is definite.

Fixing

This category consists of “fix” those who have a problem when having a serious discussion. Set targets and does everything to achieve them. They will try to fix things as they can.

They will discover that strategies for retrieving passion. They will go to a town in the evening, they will vote for hours of therapy, dance lessons, Fridays flowers, etc.

For some couples, this strategy works, or at least create a few more memories. Just as young people are kept away from drugs and other illicit activities through sports, clubs and events for them, as these new activities will bring some luck for those who are going through turbulent marriages.

Compromising

The last category is of the droppers, those who choose not to focus too much on unfulfilled desires, to accept marriage for what it is and find a way to feel good with it. These are the people who realize that they have everything to be thankful. They love their partner and family.

Again, be it any relationship on this earth, it is all about give and take. But, we must understand that marriage is not for self-centered personalities.

It is a relationship that seeks respect and sacrifices from both ends; equal contribution from the couple. Separation is not a solution unless a relationship is going through a life-threatening situation.

There exists a solution to every problem, but you have to have right intentions.

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