Parenting guides are everywhere. We have seniors to guide us, but we cannot ignore the best source of advice – the children psychologists.
The mere mention of psychologists leads to confusions and fears; what do we need a psychologist for? Well, don’t be scared. Children psychologist can help you in understanding the toddler’s behavior, feelings, and emotions; a must learn for you to nurture your kid properly. Allow me to share a few tips of my children psychologist. Hope these are going to help you.
- Understanding Child Psychology
- Observation Is Key
- Spend ‘Quality’ Time With Your Children
Listen To Your Child Carefully!
The main source of information for your kids is you; the parents. Indisputably, the survival of today’s world depends upon your multitasking nature. In order to cope up with the speed, you have to be a multi-functional personality.
But, this streamlining of your time should not be done at the cost of your kids; I mean you must ignore your kids for any reason. No wonder, how important assignment you are dealing with, when you are around kids, listen to them. They know nothing about your busyness but won’t forget your ignorance. Next time, don’t a complaint if they vote to skip you for any of their questions.
Learn to listen to your child carefully, no matter what you are busy with. For your kid, those tiny thoughts they want to share with you are very important and can help them while dealing with their worries and problems they face. In addition, the simple act of listening to your child helps him become a good listener.
Create A Functional System of Rules & Punishment!
Rules-punishment system should underpin the process of disciplining the child and observe a few important things. Rules should always be announced and explained to the kid and recalled whenever necessary.
In addition, mistakes should always be punished according to the system that you implemented in disciplining him! Be constant in sentencing, if you want your child to take seriously the rules and behave!
Try To Discover The Reasons Behind His Behavior!
Before punishing for a mistake that he did, psychologists emphasized the importance of discovering the causes that have led that kid to that sort of negative behavior.
Labeling your kid as a spoiled brat or a naughty kid for making blunders or acting aggressively, is not justifiable. There could be some other reasons behind that unexpected act of mischievousness.
In most cases, these behaviors conceal powerful emotions and feelings that these kids need help with; help them realize what was happening to him and how he can assure himself of behaving in a better way if the same situation happens next time.
Stop Lying & Fabricating
Honesty is one of the hardest rules to teach. But, you cannot expect it from you, kid, if you are setting examples for the same.
Stop assuming that your kid won’t understand the truth. You need to make him understand, instead of telling him fake stories. Do not underestimate baby! Psychologists argue that since the age of the baby, the child understands what you tell him.
Starting with preschool age, you better start talking and asking questions, he is able to support and to comprehend the truth, no matter how tough or sad it is. Whether it is a divorce, a death in the family or loss of job, financial setback or an emotional imbalance; the child must know the truth.
The only rule is that the vocabulary and speech to be an age-appropriate child and must be as short and concise as possible. Do not get lost in detail and not too lengthy discussions because that is going to confuse your baby.
Stop Behaving Like A Perfect Parent
Why? Primarily because there is no perfect parent, and secondly because perfectionism in child rearing is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, you might successfully raise a child who is well educated, intelligent, and obedient, but on the other hand, your kid might be lacking in other areas that are important for an overall development. This will result in building the way for the frustration and depression in childhood.
You must learn that nothing everything can be learned from books only. No offense, but a child raised by so-called perfectionist parent is the one with a poor emotional life, without joy and pleasure, and with one single motto – success.
Also, such a kid will be the one devoid of tolerance for momentary failures; an essential skill for adulthood.
Psychologists say that many parents are overprotective and try to do everything for them, even when they know that their kid is not on the right side and doing things wrong.
No matter how tempting it is to do your homework, you must not take things lightly. Do not make yourself available all the time for the tiny things of your kid.
Instead, make you kid an independent kid. It is very important for you to realize that how important it is to offer some liberty in minor activities like choosing a dress, changing uniform, keeping shoes at the right place, combing hair, and other little, but important tasks. Do not raise a “dependent” child!
Allow them the freedom to try new things, but monitor him and help him out of the shadows just in case he gets stuck. It is important to let them learn things on their own because this skill will be of great help in adulthood.
Do Not Compare Your Kids With Others
This is the biggest mistake, perhaps every second parent does. Each child is unique and has its own individuality. As per the children, psychologists advise you to try to know your child’s personality and encourage him.
Do not try to turn your kid into an exact copy of someone else. Do not impose you own thinking style, but let him develop his own thinking, to make choices. But, waste no time, when you see your kid opting for something wrong.