This is an uncomfortable question, perhaps because the possible answers are expression of some desires or fears of others, or truths scientifically validated.
There’s a saying that goes, there are no wrong answers, but the unplanned question. In many civilizations sex education or talking about sex within families is still equivalent to blasphemy. People prefer to change TV channel when it is about condom ads or lovemaking scenes. According to parents, “these are bad for teens.” Without promoting adultery, I would like to quote a simple question that every teenager wants to know, “How to deal with teenagers’ sexual issues.”
- Teach them about the right age for sex.
- Handle their sex related curiosities carefully.
- Guide them before someone misguide them.
The question comes with many sub-questions like what it means to start your sex life, what are the implications, what are the risks, what are the advantages? What it feels like to have sex?
We need to understand – “There are questions that even Google have no answer to.” If you are not answering, don’t expect teenagers to live in confusions; they are going to find themselves.
Right Age For Sex
Studies and clinical practice show that to start their sex life, one should be prepared physically and emotionally, and it happens around the age of 17-18 years old; 16 years at the earliest.
Having sex started too early, in the absence of physical, mental, and emotional maturity can significantly affect self-image and can cause disorders of sexual behavior.
Education received at home should mirror the sex as something normal. Don’t make your kid feel embarrassed for any sex-related question. You will be stimulating frigidity, curiosities, and impotence, should you make your kid feel shameful for any such query.
It is very important that discussions about sex and sex life start quite early, about 10-12 years, and the information must be delivered patiently and gradually. Dear parents, be very careful about child’s level of understanding and have the air of normality that you maintain during another discussion with the children.
Teens & Their Sex Related Curiosities
Teenagers have many questions about sex or would require more information than they receive. It would be really great for them if they could have all the answers from family.
But, reality is different. Parents try to escape from all sex-related discussions and they often have inappropriate reactions. They will react to the subject, they will start suspecting teen about their sexual activeness, or they will postpone the discussion.
“I don’t know anything about this. None of your business. Don’t you have anything else to do? Where are you learning all these?” They don’t know that they are actually disrespecting their child’s curiosity.
Guide Your Teens Before Someone Misguide Them
As a result, the teenager will remove his parents from the list and will head to other people like colleagues, friends, etc. and sources like internet, magazines, movies, etc. to satisfy these curiosities. And, we all know, what sort of answers, most of these sources are going to offer.
Spend quality time with the teens. Have lunch together regularly decreed evenings or days of the household (all or in pairs: day boys on girls on the father-daughter or mother-son), create a habit of appreciation in the family .
All these things make the relationship strong. This is the best way of building trust and respect. Once done properly, kids will be more open and comfortable about discussing sensitive issues. In addition, many studies correlate quality time spent with family significantly reducing risky adolescent behaviors (alcohol, drugs, bullying).
Answer all sex related questions and see if there would be another topic that they want to discuss. Thus, creating the air of normality and openness. Initiate discussions about sex, sexuality, contraceptive methods, risks (STDs, pregnancy, emotional implications) from the TV (news broadcasts mundane etc.).
Every adolescent must be treated with respect, as it is structured. If you have a teenager at home who is timid, withdrawn; put pressure on him because he has no friends and spends as much time at home.
Teens will appreciate a mature view and they are going to appreciate the information provided by you, but not required. So can increase the chances that the information is considered. Do this only if you can be authentic, not if the goal is to “spy”.
Teenagers should know that it’s okay to say, “no” until you feel truly ready. It is not only important for their physical and emotional health, but for their future as well. To have sex just because your friends are having, does not prove that you’re fashionable, you’re attractive or “cool”.