यह लेख हिन्दी में पढ़ें।
Expectations lead to disappointments. And, if you are resting your happiness on other people’s shoulders, you are going to suffer. Your happiness is your responsibility.
- Never expect and never get hurt.
- Nobody is perfect.
- Love me the way I am.
“I never expected this from you. You just made me realized my importance for you.” A usual statement that most of us deliver, right after we get cheated or ignored. “I was told to live for others and that is how I lived. But, now when I am facing troubles, I cannot see anyone next to me.” If you expect too much from others, you won’t be able to secure a smile. This was the secret that I learned after wasting half of my life; expect nothing. We should not expect too much from people because we do not know if tomorrow they will be the same.
But, the sad part is, we live our lives based on unrealistic expectations. Only after suffering many disappointments we realize the importance of bringing a change in ourselves, a change in how we look at others, and a change in the expectations.
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Expecting too high is going to result in disappointments. If you wait for the things that you don’t have or won’t have, you’ll be disappointed. It is complete foolishness. Why expect from someone, who is living with exceptions? It is not good to expect anything from a human because humans don’t have any control over their behavior.
So, how to stay away from this good-for-nothing kinda emotion? How not to expect from other? Well, here are few simple tricks using which you can give up expectations. You’ll feel much freer and rooted in reality. It’s time to leave expectations aside and begin to really live.
Learn To Distinguish Between Expectations And Dependence
Perhaps you often blame others for your unhappiness, even without analyzing things, especially you. The way you act influences your emotional state. You are dependent on other people because you made them responsible for certain parts of yourself.
It is impossible to be happy if your happiness depends on upon others or if you want others’ to make you feel good. But, if you learn to loosen up and let go expectations, you will realize that happiness is only in your hands and only you are responsible for it.
Accept That You Will Not Always Get What You Give
We all know that when we offer something, we should not expect anything in return. However, deep down, we all want to get something. Therefore, we expect our actions to be rewarded.
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In this way, we put our expectations first. Accept people as they are and understand that not everyone will meet your expectations. No offense. Rejoice that you were able to give something and do not expect rewards or reciprocity.
Do Not Idealize People or Situations Where You Are
Expectations color idealized situations. For example, in a couple relationship, imagine that your partner is a perfect match, and has no defect. But, when this illusion changes over time, it leaves room for disappointment.
An idealization of a person or circumstances prevents you from seeing the change in the people. It is a painful reality that will make you suffer. People change and change is a law of nature. But, should you consider it as an abnormal thing and should you start seeing as a fault of yours, you will feel sad. You need to understand that you have no control over certain things. Stop idealizing things and situations because this is the only way you are going to live in the reality.
We All Have Flaws, No One is Perfect
Perhaps you have not ever been in the opposite camp and have not disappointed anyone. Most of the time we get hurt because we expect others to be flawless. It is always about changing others, but not self. This is the reason behind the disappointment.
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Nobody is perfect. You need to learn to accept people as they are and not as you want them. The sooner we start, the better it will be. So, if someone is wrong, accept that without worrying much about why? Stop waiting for expected results. No expectations and no regrets; everything is going to be either a pleasant surprise or unpleasant lesson.
It is wrong to expect too much from others. If you are tired of being disappointed, tired of seeing others changing their opinions about you, or fed up of seeing their selfish behavior; the only thing you should do is – stop expecting.
The only person you should expect from must be you. Be with others and accept others as they are. Do not hold them responsible for your happiness or sadness because they are actually not accountable.