Sharad and Ritika met each other at an inter college cultural fest. The cupid struck and in no time they fell in love. Then, they decided to get married against their parents’ wish. And, things were never as easy as it seems to be.
After dating for 4 years and the couple finally decided to get married. It went smooth until they told informed their parents about their decision of getting married. But, the question was should we get married against our parents’ wish?
Their views about inter-caste marriage were not aligning with the beliefs of their parents’ beliefs. The wide gap between cultural backgrounds, was not an issue for the couple, but for both the families. The families were not that broadminded. And, none of families were ready for the marriage.
Both the families have their own trivial reasons like not send their daughter in a family that goes to church and not temple, who eat meat and not vegetables, where women were allowed to drink some wine occasionally. And on top of that marrying in their own way; in the church without any horoscopes/kundali match.
It was hard for Sharad and Ritika to bring their parents on the same page.
Practically speaking, although we talk about a lot of things about raising our voice against any injustice, but still India is a country where parents are considered equal to God. Whatever they decide, is still considered a decision next to almighty’s.
And, the people of late 90’s are finding it hard. For them, how can anybody decide the fate of their relationship? How can someone deny marrying someone on the basis of a kundli match, when they completely know about the compatibility shared by those two people?
So, should not consider our parents?
Of course not. I would say that parents should be considered as a higher authority in your life, but they can’t be considered as mortals who can never make mistakes. In the end even they are humans, they can make mistakes!
Marriage is a holy institution which should be established with love and blessings of elders. Marrying against your parent’s wish is not at all an option. You really don’t want to become a part of a family where you are not welcomed at all.
You need to listen what are their basis of rejection and how practical those reasons are. The best approach is convincing your parents and make them to trust your decisions.
Although, I’m a strong believer of the fact that parents should allow their children to take their own life decisions, but at the same time I also believe that they have a complete right to revoke my foolish decisions (if I am planning to get married at 18). No use of facing the music afterward.
I have seen many people trying filthy tricks for their parents’ consent. They go on hunger strike, they start emotional blackmailing, and sometimes they choose of leave their parents’s house! How can someone be so selfish? How can you leave a house where you spent a good time of your life? Isn’t it called thanklessness?
No, you can’t do that! You need to show your maturity level now because this how you are going to make your parents trust you and your decision. Tackling situation like a child and not eating anything will only prove your parents right that you’re still not capable of taking your own decisions.
The best way is to be vocal about your feelings and taking every step you can to bring these two families closer. Make them see those qualities that you see. Convince your parents to at least meet them once before announcing their decision. Give your parents some time to think and save some drama at home. You need to handle things maturely.
You can then ask them to reconsider or rethink their decision. I am sure, parents wish their children to be happy. And, once they feel that you’ll be happy with the chosen partner, they will happily accept your both.