Sex Education & TeensWhat is the right age for this discussion?

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What is the right time to talk about sex with teens
What is the right time to talk about sex with teens
Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

Where do babies come from? This is a universal question & the most common one and sometimes embarrassing as well; asked by many kids to their parents at a very young age.

To avoid confusion later and for good sex education is necessary to approach the child in a manner as can be honest and direct this topic, but according to his age and stage of mental and emotional development. Parents often need to be trained in what concerns the discussion about sex with their children, be it at an earlier age or adolescent. Although some parents try to ignore this issue and to fool the idea that their teenager is not yet thinking about sex, they must be objective and realize that first ideas about sex and sexuality occur at a young age and May 5-7 years, and a lack of sex education in this can attract long-term negative consequences. Whether or not your teen is sexually active, sex should not be taboo in the family and your home.

What is the right age for sex education?

There is no standard age appropriate to initiate this topic with your child. Discussions about sex with your children should constitute an instructive conversation because if your kid is elder enough and you think he is ready for the answers about a specific topic, then you have to acknowledge that sex is now no large a secret for him/her and you should offer him/her a valid answer, instead telling him stories.

This minimal approach, evolutionary will help the child later in puberty and teenage years to make connections gradually between various information about sex and sexuality, expanding properly details his or her physical and emotional. Talking about sex with the teenager depends largely on the parent-adolescent relationship built until initiating this discussion and family attitude about sex and sexuality. Regarding the topics teens and sex, you have to be honest with yourself: they know certain information (true or wrong) and the question is how much I know, how much I must know. The truth is that most of the information that they learn from various unreliable sources are wrong (more than half of teens in the world believe that oral sex is not sex). The ideal is to have an open and communicative relationship with your child to start talking about sex since school and be responsive to the first signs of the adolescent he’d like to talk to you about sex.

Addressing a discussion about sex with teen

Despite progress in web technologies, text messaging and social networks, parents remain the best source for teens (if they are, in turn, knowledgeable) in terms of sexuality. There are three essential tools that parents need to use when it comes to discussions about sex to protect adolescent feelings during the discussion and to infuse a positive attitude about developing their own sexuality. The first message that parents need to transmit child / adolescent sex and sexuality is linked to the sex is natural, normal and the physical and emotional changes due to changes hormone are normal. The teenager must feel safe and comfortable when discussing sex, you’re there to listen and not as a sermon is you. Use open questions that can respond freely teenager to the detriment of questions that limit its response and inhibit it.

Avoid critical statements that put labels people or situations. If your teen approaches a subject for which you are not prepared / a and the only natural reaction is a negative one, postpone discussion; I’m going to think about this and without a categorically negative answer and I will make sure to come back with an answer / informed decision in the future.

Who is responsible – A school or Parents?

Although it is tempting for parents to avoid the answer to this question, the most important is to ensure the correctness and safety of the child. In other terms, a child/adolescent must not feel that the parents have lied. Psychologists believe that sex education, information, guidance, su7pport must come primarily from parents, and then the schools. The reasons for this are numerous statements because parents can give their child the appropriate capacity to understand simple information the child and his desire for knowledge;the child will get the correct information gradually from a reliable source for them and know at the same time parental attitudes related to sex; sex is not a topic to be avoided or treated as a dark secret; some specialists in family psychology believe that sex education in primary school may steal innocent child and may constitute a form of child abuse – while at school all children / teenagers are trained the same when it comes to a matter, parents know how to instruct children -and their specific needs (while a 7 year old child may be mature thinking and responsive to subject a child 12-13 years may still not be ready).

Recommendation for Parents – Follow these before you initiate a healthy discussion about sex 

It is undeniable that this is not an easy practice to do, especially when you are dealing with a person who knows nothing about the topic or has only partial information, which may be correct or incorrect. You must learn, how not to panic and how not to exaggerate the topic. Do not keep preaching and instead, allow teens to come up with their questions. This will keep the discussion within (age) parameters. Be careful, you might be dealing with someone who is tech savvy and he/she will counter check your replies over the internet. Do not hint him anything that you don’t want them to learn at that time of (their)age. The right time for sex education is very important, thus you must identify the appropriate time. Do not forget to maintain a calm and non-critical attitude in the discussion about sex.

Identify the understanding of child/adolescent and existing knowledge (wrong or not, sources addressed, etc). Because, only then you will be able to assert your opinions and beliefs about specific issues related to sex, oral sex (risks) and other sexual activities in a correct manner. Keep your sense of humor alive and do not be afraid to acknowledge your own discomfort and embarrassment in addressing the discussion about sex. Make sure that you are representing yourself as a trusted specialist because if the kid is not comfortable talking, he will never feel like talking to you at the time of need or problem. Be open  and do use words that are understandable to teens and comfortable. Most importantly, give a special emphasis on the importance of being accountable for the choices and decisions.

Help your teen to consider the pros and the cons of having a healthy and positive attitude about sex. Do not use intimidation tactics to discourage adolescent sexual activity. Listen to it carefully and try to understand the teenage pressures, challenges, concerns, and worries of his age. In families where discussions about sex were common, honest and open, there is a very low risk that your child will engage in risky behavior and early in terms of sex. First of all, you as parents must have a positive attitude and good education about healthy sex. Only then, you can guide your kid in the right direction.

Should you feel uncomfortable and insecure due to lack of information in the field, you can always investigate certain books. The more you are well documented about art, the more confident you will be. 

SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY.