Straight trees are cut first, they say. After spending half of my life, I learned this secret of “Kalyuga” or “Kali Yuga”. In simpler terms, too much politeness can kill your reputation.
Since childhood, I have had countless lectures on being polite. Be it a school, college, religious seminars, relatives or even movies; all of them want me to be as polite as I can. And, the best part is – no one teaches you how to balance your politeness. No one tells you that too much politeness can kill your reputation and you.
Yes! Too much politeness can get you out of the race. I can tell you this with my experience that if you are over polite and too nice, you are an easy and soft target for everybody in this cruel and self-centered world. You need to learn the art of balancing aspect of your nature.
It has to be like a perfectly cooked chicken; made with a variety of spices without one spice dominating the other and perfect texture that is not hurting your taste-buds. In every bite, you get to feel no difference from the previous one. Here is how you can fix things; the art of balancing things.
Politeness can represent you as an odd man
Don’t be an odd man. You may be showing respect by not sitting before anyone else does in a conference or meeting. This may feel like a wonderful gesture.
But, it also may also represent you as someone who stays in the circle. While proving your politeness, you might be telling people that they do not have manners and you are on top of them.
Politeness can make you feel unreal
Do you know that over politeness can actually hide your real personality? People may take you as a person with double standards.
Being too polite can seriously hide your real personality. Without interacting with you, people will start making opinions about you. Do keep in mind that we are living in a world where politeness is seen as cowardliness. Do not broadcast yourself as a person who can have all the chilies with a pretty smile.
Politeness can overburden you with loads and sorrows
People are going to take you for granted if you behave like a person who never says NO. Do not get me wrong, but realistically, by being a yes man you are not going to get anything. In the end, you will be overburdening yourself.
As you have already told people around you that you are always free for them. You had given them a clear indication that they can have your yes for anything, within a few tries. Even if you want to say no. But, your politeness will not let it happen and at the end, you are going to overburden yourself with their loads and sorrows.
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Politeness can make you an easy target
By being polite, you are giving an easy access to those, who wants to manipulate you. Do not make yourself as an easily accessible source. Otherwise, people or co-worker will take you like a counselor, whom they can walk any time with their worries.
Do not let you co-worker feel that you are someone whom they can influence easily, especially when they need to release any sort of personal or professional burden.
Politeness can make you look like a punching bag
In today’s world, there is no such thing called, free lunches. If you need something, you got to pay for it. Everything revolves around diplomacy and tactics. Then, why are you taking insults for granted? If you welcome each and every insult with a smile, you are fathering a doubt in minds of people around you. There is a bright chance that they may question your intentions.
I am not against politeness and it is not that you are supposed to deal every second person with rudeness. However, you must not let people treat you as a recycle bin or a bedroom pillow, who they can use to release their waste or stress.