Every man, who is young at heart, to an extent, is a womanizer. If you think, you are not, then I feel sorry for your low sex drive. No offence.
When, it is about sex, the affordable heaven on the earth is Pattaya. So, last Christmas break, I visited this sex heaven. Here is my Patpong night market confession.
Like most of the westerners, I love to save money for vacations. I love to explore people, culture, and foreign destinations. Whenever, I get a chance, I travel.
Last Christmas break, I went to Pattaya.
Those who don’t know, Pattaya is known for the beaches and bitches.You need to be out of this world, if you don’t know. Lolest.
ALSO READ – How I Felt After Having Sex With A Stranger
My stay was with Hilton Pattaya. I was there for 15 days.
I started my journey with a few beaches, cabaret shows, teddy bear museum, and para-sailing expereinces.
Honestly, all this time, I was thinking about Patpong, Ping Pong and Boom Boom.
If you don’t know, Patpong is the place, where you can find all the womanizers like me.
From my hotel, it was a two hour journey and I took Airport Pattaya Bus.
There, I had a booking with The Tarntawan Hotel Surawong hotel, which was 0.2 KM from the Patpong Night Market.
Well, in the evening, I was all set for the fun. The first step was – walking street.
If you been never to this place, then you need to keep a few things in the mind.
At Patpong night market, beware of touts offering you free ping-pong shows. Be very careful about your valuable belonging and wallets. Don’t stop by, if a tout approaches you.
If someone asks you or show you a ping pong show card flooded with fun activities and a free entrance, just walk away.
As a tourist, you are going to be their target and if you don’t know how to bargain, then better not have any conversation with these vertically challenged tiny touts.
ALSO READ – Those Three Unforgettable Days in Miami
Despite my homework, I got screwed by a tout. I was approached by a tout, who first offered me drinks, a ping-pong show, full massage for 3000 Thai Bahts.
I had some negotiation and once we agreed on a price (2K), the tout then asked me to get in a Tuk Tuk. This was the time when I refused.
And, this little tiny bastard threatened me to pay him for the time. I resisted, but then he called his mates. I was a first timer and was not in a group, so paid him a few bucks.
I learned my lesson.
- Avoid Touts because they have nothing to offer, but scams.
I was pissed off. I planned to move back to my hotel.
But, then I saw another board. “Super Pussy.” It was a gigantic LED board.
At the first glance, it grabbed my attention, but after checking its review on TripAdvisor, I dropped the idea of going in. Mafia is very active here. If you don’t believe me, go and check the review on Google. This one place is a big No.
The trick they use at Superpussy is
They offer you 150 Bahts per drink Person. And, after 10 minutes, they can come up with as hefty bill as 4600 Bahts. And, if you argue, get ready for the mafia.
ALSO READ – Watch Your Hand Gestures When Overseas
A few more lessons learned
- Don’t go to this place.
- If you are there, by any chance, pay your bill in advance.
- Don’t just rely on the tout. It is better to ask the owner about all the charges for a drink, show, etc. Also, check whether there is an exit charge or not.
It was all depressing. I went there with some intention and had nothing, so far.
I decided to go back to my hotel room. While I was walking down the street, a girl approached me.
“Hey butterfly! Boom-boom? If make no happy, no money.” She said.
If you don’t know what this means, let me make break it for you. Boom-boom means sex and butterfly means a playboy, who have sex with a lot of girls.
Initially, I doubted at her. But, as I was turned on by her assets, I accepted her proposal. We fixed a rate and next moment, we were in the room.
Trust me, I had an unforgettable experience. I paid her the money. And, before she left, she asked me, if I would like to go for a threesome.
It was a fantasy.
So, I asked her, “let’s do that.”
Next 2 days, I enjoyed the most.
Whole frustration was gone. And, I had the best ever time.
I am planning my next visit soon.
Moral of the story is:
If you are lucky enough, you don’t need to go anywhere. You will get what you want at your doorstep. (I am just joking.)