Often, we look at a relationship through all sorts of ideas that we have taken either from parents or from friends or from books or movies, but that does not necessarily apply to our relationships.
- Stay hungry stay foolish
- Fights make relationships stronger
- Changes priorities and not yourself.
Myths about relationships; from generations, our parents are grandparents keep on feeding us with these. They keep telling us, how importantly we must obey certain traditional and orthodox philosophies for the betterment of a relationship, especially marriage.
In many civilizations, relationship means one-sided sacrifice. However, practically, it has to be from both the sides. There are several myths that we need to change our thinking about. Let us burst a few of them.
Myth: For A Harmonious Relationship, Couple Must Change
This is one of the most common trends and can be seen see possibly in any relationship. We want to change our partner, but not self.
For example, if the beginning of the relationship we used to enjoy clubbing etc. But, after marriage, and because of social bindings, ladies force their partner to spend more time on homely things. This is like a ‘deprivation of liberty’ for husbands.
Why we cannot allow our partners to do the things they like to do and in the amount, they want to do? Why do we feel like giving them the daily dose of a lecture about their responsibilities, even if they are fulfilling everything?
For a harmonious relationship, we don’t need to change anyone, but we need to manage and prioritize things.
Myth: After Spending A Few Years Together, No Extra Efforts Are Required
This is a very common myth. After spending a few years together, couples don’t feel like they need to surprise each other. They start feeling like there is a very big difference between how they were within the relationship a few years back and how they are now.
Perhaps this difference arises from the fact that many do not understand the importance of little surprises and efforts.
According to psychologists, if you are not experimenting things that can kill the boredom between you two, you are actually killing your relationship. It’s important to always strive for something new, a surprise, a trip, a dance, or a dinner etc.
Myth: No Point of Dating After A Long Time
I have heard couple saying that there is no point of dating after 5-6 years of marriage; couples hardly see something new in the other.
But, this not true. Actually, this happens because we’ve cataloged our minds that way. It is nothing, but our one-sided opinions that we know all about our partner and nothing new can be done.
But, dear friends, allow me to tell you, for a relationship to work, it is important to keep looking for something new – stay hungry, stay foolish.
Myth: It is All About The Passion And Depth of Love
Now, this one is classic. There are couples who have another philosophy; if there is love, passion will not go away.
This is funny, though.
The truth is – the passion of a relationship lasts no more than 2-3 years of a relationship. That does not mean that love disappears.
The reality is things get replaced with routine and there remains no time for passion. But, love remains there. The only things we need to refill a relationship with is – passion.
Myth: Children Do Strengthen The Relationship
Children are a real test for parents. A lot of people believe that after having kids, marriage becomes unbreakable. This belief is nothing, but a myth.
If new parents lack patience with the new order of things, they cannot get away without having arguments for things that did not exist before.
There are cases, where these differences of opinions about every little thing related to children resulted in divorces. Psychologists believe that parents should have realistic expectations and focus on their relationship and not only on children.
Myth: Quarrels Destroy A Relationship
Do you think, by not arguing with your partner you can bring the harmony in a relationship.
In a relationship, where there are no arguments and clash of ideas, the relationship will become more of a compromise. This kind of relationship will not only result in a state of absolute boredom, but also destroy your health.
When you do not externalize, anger is more pronounced and can affect immunity, heart health and mood.
Quarrels are important in a relationship because it keeps alive and free.