My Experiments with My Success And My Failures

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Finally, I understood the real meaning of the quote that goes like – success has many fathers, failure is an orphan.

Now, I am rarely surrounded with friends and relatives or if I say, friends and relatives don’t like me anymore that won’t be wrong either. A few temporary failures and I am already seeing the whole world against me; “humne to pehle hi bola tha, ab bhugto (Didn’t I told you this earlier; now face it). People who used to call me up for a piece of advice, are now offering me coupons of free showers to their fountain of useless advises.

I was an overseas student that time; not living with my family. This actually all started when I was hit by an accident and lost my arm (50%). My surgeon advised me not to do any heavy work (I was a process/forklift operator) for at least next six-eight months. That temporary disability made me quit my job; there was no income source at all.

In order to keep my savings alive for a longer duration, I planned to cut my expenses as much as I can. I evacuated my city apartment and to cut my rental expenditure, I shifted to a store-room.

From the king size bed, now I used to sleep on a mattress of newspapers and a pillow of my own clothes. I restricted myself to noodles and cold drink (three times a day for more than one year). After using my savings, I was totally out of cash.

There were days when I used to make more than five grands ($4500) a week and banks were so eager to offer me credit cards and loans. But, now considering my inefficiency to work, banks refused my CC applications.

My friends, whom I always helped, were not taking my calls. My relatives, who to used to visit my parents with their sorrows; seems like all were dead or never existed. No one even bothered to call my parents and say a few words of condolence about my situation. They might be thinking; (kahin kuch mang lia toh?) what if my parents asked them for a financial help.

Oh, my god! Thank you for showing me the real face of my well-wisher; they are undoubtedly giving a really tough competition to the chameleons. Any sort of (short-term) adversity means a tough time for your relationship.

“Bad time or good times are scales for measuring the truthfulness behind the relationship,” they say and only a few pass it. Now that I am in the middle of a stormed-sea, I have no hesitation in saying – some relationship have really proved to be a blessing, while others proved as a lesson.

I have seen sincerity changing into insincerity and securities changing into insecurities. It is not their mistake; it’s me who adorned them with the ‘emblem of trustworthiness’ without even conducting any preliminary screening.

I always offered my shoulder to needy ones, but when the time turns bad for me, I see none standing by me. All the love, suddenly became social responsibilities and all the favors that I was told not to mention at all, became obligations.

Undeniably, during the bad phase of the life, your self-confidence is supposed to be shaken. In a stormy weather, sailing the boat is not the only challenge, but you need to take care of your spirit as well. Every single person around me tried to shatter my confidence; they taunted me, defamed me, pronounced me a failure and a complete waste.

They made sure that I must hear all this as if they want me to bury my dream one hundred feet down. The people whom I made aware of brands are now teaching me how to tie my laces and this makes me laugh out loudly; a student telling a teacher how to teach.

The people from whom I was expecting a few words of oneness, I saw them hiding behind the curtains and doors having a welcome board on it. Now, that they left me with no option other than deleting them from my phone book; I know one day they are going to blame me for this change in me.

Dear Patrons (fake), despite all the differences that you made me notice, I would like to thank you all. Please accept my gratitude for leaving me alone during my rainy days. Unintentionally, you actually blessed me with the courage of doing everything of my own.

Should you have given me a shoulder to cry, I would have never reached this far. Thank you for showing the confidence in me and thank you for making me learn my lessons about life and relationships. You left me alone, perhaps that is why I managed to recollect myself. It is okay that my moon is behind the dark clouds and I have the same dark clouds down my eyes too.

It is okay if you are not able to see the pain of the restless nights that I am going through on my face. I feel no anger, should you crown me as a third class personality with no standards at all, although I made you learn what ‘standards’ stands for. I have no grudges at all and I wish you good health so that you can see the moon shining at its fullest on another day.

My well-wishers, I have not done yet; wait for me to come back.