Money & RelationshipsWhen lovers replaced flowers with grocery bills

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Money & Relationships – When lovers replaced flowers with grocery bills
Money & Relationships – When lovers replaced flowers with grocery bills
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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

People say money cannot buy happiness. Poverty sure Ain’t going to help either.

I’d be a hypocrite if I say that does not matter in a . Even matter … Maybe not everything, but certainly have its share of contribution to our . Let’s be serious, no offense, but just imagine how many domestic/couple quarrels could be avoided if there were no money problems? Money helps us satisfy our whims and needs and we extract dose of happiness from every little pleasure that money gives us. Undoubtedly, only a happy soul can make others’ happy and if we are happy, we can then only make others happy. No wonder, there are people who will opine that as long as you do not worry about tomorrow, you can enjoy the present with whatever you have today. But, allow me to ask you, for how long you think you are going to a life full of compromises and adjustments?

Let us be honest this time. Be it any relationship especially the marriage, for a smooth journey, we need money and we cannot think of engaging with someone who only has talks to offer, but no money. When I say that money matters to me in a relationship, by no means I am advocating only a rich partner. In my opinion, I affirm that both partners have to make money to enjoy a family and a life of decency. I tell you from experience that a relationship needs both love and money.

You cannot endlessly repeat “,” to show affection. You as a couple need much more things than just a bouquet of flowers and favorite perfume. As the couple, the question should not be who is contributing more instead, the emphasize must be about the ways of increasing the “material wealth.” We are not supposed to fight over who, but how.

Still not believe me? Okay! Here are a few most appropriate examples. The importance of money is felt from the first meeting when a man takes a female to the best restaurants or pubs to impress. The question here comes is – how the bill will be paid; whether the boy will pay or it is on girl or they both are going to split it in half?

Yes, Money cannot buy happiness. But, it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle. What Say?

Then, the same case is when you take a girl for the movie. At the end of the day, if she prefers to take a taxi, who is going to pay the fare? Do you really want me to answer this? We are living in such a civilization where it is a man who is supposed to pay. Should a girl is made to pay, it is considered an insult and society will label you as an incompetent male surviving on female partner’s money.

Society has taught us that man is the one who should have more money. Right from the birth, a man is nurtured with the thoughts that he is the one who is supposed to work to support the family and take care of her home and children. I know, the time has changed a lot nowadays and many often have jobs better paid than men, but this is going to take a few more before we can seriously accept this.

A study some time ago revealed that 93% of women would refuse to engage in a relationship just because the man would earn very little. In India, however, the housewife model still exists in people’s mentality and expectations that men make more money to support their families are considered normal.

I have heard it from many couples – it went all good for a few years. But, after sometime things became worse between us. This happens because in the initial years we barely show any deep concern for our partner’s salary and on other financial aspects. But, after moving further in a relationship for a few years, we start realizing our partner’s earning and spending habits. It is when the definition of love changes from flowers to groceries. From this time onward, we start keeping an eye on, who is earning what, and who is spending where?

But, instead spying on income and spending habit, we can opt for other ways to divide the money. The most common variants are: money be made jointly or man must bring everything he earns to the house, and the woman takes care of rest. It is hard to say which of these options is the right one because it depends on each couple individually.

In addition to this, there are some things you need to consider. You must learn to put aside some money for contingencies. You do not know when you burst a pipe or boiler breaks down and you need money urgently. It may seem a very petty thing, but trust me, I have seen the couple fighting on these small things. Make a habit of writing your monthly expenses and budget. This will help you in avoiding the unpleasant situation where you fall short of enough money. In this context, one the world’s richest person Warren Buffet said a very nice thing – “do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving?”

Finally, I would not engage in a relationship just for the money, but I know, having it is going to lead this relationship a better way.

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