It’s normal to be a conflict between generations. But, what do to when you and your parents argue in front of your kids? It becomes a really difficult situation when grandparents (of your kids) who wants to be involved in your family, but feel excluded.
Grandparents can be a real help for new parents if you know how to get along with them. Often, you’ll notice that you have opinions different from those of your parents, in terms of raising the child. Although grandparents have more experience (after all, they have grown you), young parents have a fresher vision. How to reconcile this relationship and this generation gap?
- No interference and no criticism.
- Communication is a must.
Here are some tips suitable for both parents and for grandparents. Implement these for a more harmonious relationship.
Expect The Best
Always starts from the belief that your parents (the child’s grandparents) have the best intentions. Like any of us, and they can make mistakes or may not realize their borderline. Tell them, what is the best way they can help you and tell them how they can make their contribution count.
Do Not Criticize
Both parents and grandparents should realize that criticism does not bring anything good. Nobody likes to be blamed or judged. Therefore, you guys need to learn that usually criticized person gets defensive and closed to others.
Dear grandparents or parents, if you keep finding out mistakes in each other’s behavior, keep in mind that you actually will be forcing them to avoid you. Instead of criticism, ask for help. Try to always keep a positive note.
When A Limit is Surpassed
Both sides of the relationship require respect and trust. As a parent, you must give respect to the experience of your kid’s grandparent, and as a grandfather, you must respect the decisions of the child’s parents.
Stop interfering and stop poking your intelligence all the time. Dear grandfather, you must understand that you are asked in the case of any suggestion required. By that time, please hold your emotions and relax.
As a parent, you must ask your kid’s grandparents to visit their parenting classes or pediatrician. This can help them understand the difference between old parenting and new parenting methodologies.
Do Not Get Caught In The Middle
This advice is addressed especially grandparents: do not let it put you little in the middle, between him and his parents.
You might hear that parents do not allow him to eat sweets. It is best to empathize with the child’s problem, but by any means, you are not allowed go beyond that rules of parents. And, for the harmony of the relationship, please do not ever try that.
Solve Your Problems
Problems and differences are common and there is no single place devoid of these differences. But, instead of promoting animosities between you and your parents or partner’s parents, it is important that you fix them.
You need to work on improving the relationship for the sake of the child/grandchild. Communicate and tell what you feel inside; share your liking, disliking, and fears. Perhaps, it is just a matter of poor communication.
“It Takes a village to raise a child,” they say. In other words, parents and grandparents should put aside their squabbles and disagreements in order to give the child/grandchild a wonderful nourishment. Do keep in mind that you are setting an example for your kids or grand-kids.