Internet Dating Confession – When I Had A Date With A Jerk
Internet Dating Confession – When I Had A Date With A Jerk
Photo Credit: sakkmesterke / Bigstockphoto

Well, I am single and always ready to mingle until last Sunday. Now, I scare dating. Jesus Chris; online dating is horrible.

A quick flashback to the story.

She put her finger on my lips. I was so intoxicated and I was behaving like a hypnotized psycho. She pushed me on the bed and tied my hands.

Last Friday, after finishing dinner and doing my dishes, I was in the lap of my darling. It was two of us. She is so comfy, fluffy, and full of warmth that getting out of her hug is a challenge for me.

Huh! I am not talking about any lady. I am talking about my quilt.

Grabbed my phone like a kid grab his feeder. And, in the next moment, I was on a dating chat application. A fake profile, with fake pictures and extraordinary profile description.

Am I the only one with all fake info?

Not at all.

Every second person on these dating applications is carrying a dual citizenship – one to his native land and other to his dreamland.

I was trying hard; using every freaking technique talked on online dating tips website. No luck. I was about to declare it a dry Friday.

Then, around 10 P.M, luck smiled at me. Got a reply. A lady with amazingly erotic profile pic. “Looking for a strong man,” was her profile description. I was excited and delighted. Finally, things are happening.

I was trying to be as decent as possible. No filthy statement and no proposal so far. I was waiting for the right moment. But, after wasting half an hour, she took the initiative. “Are you available for a meet?”

Instant reply was – “Yes.” Without wasting a minute, I surrendered like an illegal immigrant.

Long story short – we meet, had drinks and then, she invited me to her place.

Oh la la la! Seems like the action is about to begin. I was as eager as a kid in a toy shop.

Next moment, I was driving. She was directing me to her place. After driving for 20 minutes, she pointed at an exit. I was scared. There was no exit sign board, but a shortcut. Well, I took that and ended up in front of a cottage.

I was high on drink and as I was horny, my senses were not with me. I feel no shame admitting this. She escorted me to that cottage.

“Why do you live here? Why not in the city? You live alone? What is this place? I guess not your house, but a farm house.” I was seeking answers to these questions.

She put her finger on my lips. I was so intoxicated and I was behaving like a hypnotized psycho. She pushed me on the bed and tied my hands.

I was expecting something kinky and wild. She covered my eyes and next thing I remember – she was untying my shirt buttons.

She brought her lips next to mine and dropped a pill in my mouth. I cannot recall what happened thereafter.

Next morning, I woke up in a hospital. “How am I here and Why am I here?” I asked the caretaker.

You were brought here by police.

“How are you! Mate?” I am senior sergeant, Chris.

What the hell! Hope I have not committed any crime. And, where is that lady? I was waiting looking at Chris, the policeman.

“Which lady you are talking about? There was no one with you. We found you at the graveyard. You were lying naked on a girl’s grave. You have not committed any serious crime, but some speeding offenses and consumption of alcohol. Please pay the fines and you are good to go.

After paying those, I went to same graveyard. I checked for the name. Senior sergeant mentioned a name to me.

Finally, I found her grave; Erica – died on 31 Jan 2016.

Yesterday was – 31 Jan 2017.

I seriously met a jerk. But, who was that jerk? Was it me or Erica.

SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY.