Whenever I see parents humiliating their kids in front of others, I find is very hard to understand, how can someone be so cruel to a baby for whom they have gone through the pain of delivery and for whom they had sleepless nights? Why?
Whenever I take my daughter to the nearest playground, I get to see a lot of kids and their parents around. They are mixed. A few of them are obsessively careful, protective and in a continuous state of anxiety. And, there are a few others that are least bothered about what their kids are doing; those who prefer to sit on a bench and occasionally make their presence count. But, there are a few, who literally throw words; words that hurt. Yes, there are words that hurt. They humiliate children. It is not a good thing.
I cannot tell you how abusive they are. It really shows their home. Countless time, I tried to intervene and tell that this is not a way to nurture your kid. By doing so, you are developing an emotionally stable adult!
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Generally, any verbal or physical threat is called humility. And, it can be devastated if done in public. I know, many parents confused it with discipline. But, trust me, it’s hard to raise a child under such humiliation. At a later stage, it becomes hard for both parents and child to cope with fatigue, stress, depression, and inferiority complex. Do not expect your kid to turn into a good human being, if instead of giving him a perfect combination of understanding, patience, love, and care, you are feeding him with insults.
I have seen parents screaming at kids; “I would kill you.” Hurtful, but I heard those words often. Can you just imagine the state of a child’s mind, when you scream at him or when you use such harsh words?
It is not hard to understand that your children cannot understand the reason behind our stress. When you humiliate them for something they are not clear about, they are supposed to live with a feeling that they are not good enough. This is going to damage their self-esteem. Isn’t it?
Unfortunately, this is happening and leaving long-term effects. I have seen many adults with same low self-esteem. They are so scared of taking challenges and experimenting things. They are so short of self-trust and self-confidence.
You are actually making them an adult who is going to scare from everything; he will not ask questions, he will not know how to make a decision, he will not take risks because, throughout his life, he lived with a damaged self-esteem.
You need to grow your children with love, and not with humility. Do not make them feel that they are unwanted. Undoubtedly, kids do make mistakes and they need lessons on discipline. But, humiliation is not a way out. Let him do what he is doing, but keep an eye on him. Wait for him to finish and, then explain to him the right way of doing things.