How would you grow your Kids – with or without discipline/rules?

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Sukhdeep Singh

Sukhdeep Singh

Write Something To Right Something

Passionate about playing with words. Sukhdeep is a Post Graduate in Finance. Besides penning down ideas, he is an expert online marketing consultant and a speaker.

The way you discipline your child may have a negative effect on his later development. Apply the right strategy, that he may grow harmoniously and be a strong character!

Discipline plays an important role in anyone life and when it is about nourishing a child, should we miss it or use it in excess, we may have to face drastic consequences. According to psychologists, every parent adopts their own dominant style that they think would be best-fitted for their child. No doubt, the method you choose at the hour of need may rectify the situation, but it is not necessarily appropriate. Actually, the approach that the parents choose to educate their offspring has a strong impact on their relationship, influences on their ward’s mood and temperament of the later adult.

You Do What I Say!

If these are the words that you speak most often at his side even before the little one to have made any blunder, you are actually proving yourself as a strict parent. You are actually giving your child a strict environment with a few ‘must-follow’ rules and that too without any deviation. Now, as you want your kid to follow all your instructions and want him to expect no explanation for any of his mistake, it is obvious that the child remains with no involvement in solving any further problems. He won’t even bother to understand why a mistake is more serious than another. For him, it is all about boundaries and he is only allowed to make certain moves. You will make him believe that should he ever tried something new and something out of his ‘to-do-list,’ he will be punished. The good part is – as an adult, you are making your kid respect the rules disregard of the situations. But, the negative consequence will be much more devastating. Just because of this limitless strictness, your kid will likely have a low self-esteem and develop an aggressive or hostile behavior. The reason being, he will focus more on the penalty instead learning to make decisions and overcome obstacles.


Leave Rules For Later

This is another method of nourish your child; a permissive style that is exactly opposite of the authoritarian style. You’re not interested in too much of the discipline. Perhaps, you think that the useless rules will only harm the happiness your child and they will suck the innocence of your kid’s childhood. If this is the case with you, I must say that your threshold of tolerance is very high and rarely set foot in the door, just when you think the problem is serious. However, it doesn’t mean that rules are not there in the house. In reality, they are more verbalized, and not put into practice unless really required. In this style of nourishment, the punishments for bad behavior are the last things you consider because you would often find yourself saying – children are children. The good thing about this method is that you are presenting yourself as a friend rather than a parent, who loves to encourage him to talk freely about the troubles. This will not only bring your ward closer to you, but an open discussion will discourage him from doing any sorts of misdeeds. The child who grows up in an atmosphere of tolerance develops capricious behavior as an adult and tend not to tolerate the authority and rules. This lenient style of upbringing will make him a personality for whom submissiveness becomes the hardest ever thing and he will listen to no one, but he only; finally a personality with unsuitable and difficult nature.

The Best Way

When you decide what disciplinary tactic you go, think about what’s important for him to learn. If the penalty is applied effectively, the child will become a responsible adult, able to make sound decisions on their own, and he will act like an independent man. Psychologists say that the extremes are not beneficial: the child will be left with no good if the parents are too strict or too cooperative. There is no need of unnecessarily restricted behavior, but for the required rectification, one need to strongly intertwine with gentleness and respect, giving a kid the opportunity to catch skills that will help him in life. The crux is – do not put your child to the wall, never humiliate or blame him, but at the same time, never allow him to do whatever he wants and whenever he wants.

In the early years, give your child the lessons that are going to be useful for him as an adult. I must say, if nourished properly, he will become a better human being. Allow him the platform from where he can understand his mistakes without bullying him, humiliating him or offended him. Too much strictness will develop a fear in your child that it is pointless to have initiative as it will attract the disapproval of others and leave feelings of guilt, shame, and sorrow. Whereas, too much freedom will make your child feel that if someone is not entertaining his wishes means he is not on his side. As a parent, your role is to trace limits without breaching child’s feelings.

Take advantage of situations and design your room for lessons, but not punishment. This way, you will be making your child a happy, assured, relaxed and a civilized person of the society.

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