- Learn to walk with your daughter.
- Offer her a ear and not only your credit cards.
- Be a friend and not a father.
Today, I slapped my daughter. I saw tears in her eyes. She was looking at me like she was asking me, “Dad! Am I not your angel anymore?” I found her bunking classes and dating a guy. And, on the basis of my experiences about boys like him, I was opposing my daughter’s decision. I was seeing father daughter relationship at a risk. Inside, I was seeking an answer to a question – Dear daughter – how can I be your best friend?
“sweetheart! you are not getting my point; he is a prick.” The discussion then turned into an argument and I lost my control. I refused and my daughter left the site.
“What the hell is wrong with me,” I was cursing myself. I went in her room. I saw her sobbing. She was writing her diary. She didn’t notice me. I was reading her diary. I know that was not right. But, I was as helpless as a drowning man who knows nothing about swimming.
“For the first time in last twenty years, my dad slapped me. Because, the cheek he left his finger impressions on, he used to kissed the same tens of time every day. Dad! why are you not wiping my tears today? I still can feel the warmth of your hug; your arms were the safest place for me. I know, as a kid, I troubled you and mommy a lot. I was a naughty kid and every single time mom tried to hit me, you became my shield. But, today you slapped me.
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I was thinking, why am I becoming an idiot. What’s wrong with me. It was my wife’s turn now. “Why cannot you learn to express your love for your daughter in the right way.” It is not only about buying her luxuries. She needs your love more than your money and gifts.
Nobody in this world will be able to replace the daddy when it comes to safety and trust. She is still a kid at the brain. She doesn’t see a thing like you do. Why cannot you allow her to make mistakes? Are you losing your trust on her? And, why do you give her the slightest reason to doubt your love? Instead, running away from her, why don’t you dare to look into her eyes and say, “I love you.”
The relationship that you develop with her will have a huge impact on her decision to marry “a prince” someday. I know you love her more than anything on this planet, but let her compare the things. I know she is wrong here, but we cannot change her mind forcibly. Try to prove to her that whom she wants to marry is not someone like his father or daddy.
She is a teenager. I must say, you need to spend a little more time with her. She might like a certain kind of music, a genre that you may not like. You may not have the same preferences, but try to understand. Listen to her music, go to her favorite concerts, try to change yourself. At the end of the day, all she is going to remember is time spent together. Instead, pulling her back wrongly, offer her a right diversion.
Teenage years are difficult. Your little girl, who you used to help with brushing her teeth is now having problems with puberty. A change in behavior is acceptable. Do not withdraw from her in those moments and try not to lose your emotional bond with her. Be next to her when she needs advice, be aware of everything that happens with everything that interested her. Do not forget, she needs to be loved and respected all the time, whether she is 5 or 15 years.
Every weekend, take time for a movie together. Or create an event; ask her to help you with the breakfast or prepare a hot chocolate. Come up with new ideas on how to spend quality time together and take lots of pictures. Put them in memory of the emotional moments. All I am saying is – make your bond stronger.
I was listening to my wife. She continued, “explain to her that life will be much better if you seek to help others.” Tell him that sometimes it’s better to take a step sideways rather than first at any cost. And probably the most important thing you need to learn about the world is – experience.
“But, she is not listening to me anymore,” I shouted at my wife. Can you please help me recalling when was the last time you offered her your ears?” My wife screamed with the same loudness.
Now you are complaining to me that your daughter is not listening. The biggest mistake that almost all modern fathers do is to continue to work at home. All the time, you are on phones, emails, tweeting or Facebook. Although you are at home, I am sorry to say, but you were not available for her. Spend quality time with your princess.
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It’s incredible how fast time passes. You do not realize. Now she is not a little girl anymore; she is a teen. Learn to behave like a friend and not like a father. Try to see the world from her perspectives too, before it’s too late.