Communication Gap The Culprit Behind Ugly Relationships

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Communication Gap – The Culprit Behind Ugly Relationships
Communication Gap – The Culprit Behind Ugly Relationships
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Kumar Sunil

Kumar Sunil

Dreamer & Enthusiast

Creative. One word says it all for Sunil. A engineer, an enthusiastic and conscientious Information Technology consultant by profession, Sunil shares a special interest with entrepreneurship and lifestyle.

“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.”

Grab a plate and throw it on the ground. Did it break? Of course, it will. Now, say sorry to the plate and see if it went back to the shape it was before or not? Hope you got my point! Words said cannot be taken back, just like the bullet fired or a released arrow. We know there is no tongue in the bone, but it can affirmatively break a heart by verbalizing a few words. Do I really need to tell that time wasted, the moment missed and words said are they only three things that no one can recover. We all know these stories, yet we do mistakes; intentionally or unintentionally, we do hurt people. Do I have a bitter tongue by birth? What made us behave like an idiot, rude, mean, ignorant and self-centered personality? Most people think it is all about situations and our attitude towards those situations. But, in reality, it is nothing, but communication gap.

The communication gap arises when meaning intended by the speaker is not what understood by the listener. Why does it happen?

Why don’t we want to discuss things with the people concerned and why it is always like my questions and my answers? The reason behind ‘not discussing’ the problems with the person concerned is — a fear of rejection and ‘I-know-everything’ kinda approach. Most of the time, be it, anyone, we all love to build images of the others based on our thoughts and perceptions about those. “First impression is the last impression,” they say. And, since ages, we have been taking this quote very seriously. But, is this always true?

The first impression can be planned, especially when you are not prepared. Don’t believe me; think about the day when you had your first meeting with your current life-partner. To tell each other how wonderful human being you are, both of you must have tried your levels best. But, dare to admit if you can that you haven’t noticed any drastic change between you and your partner since that day. I bet, you won’t. Therefore, first impression (FI)cannot be the last impression, thus, image building on the basis of FI is a false practice. Should you stop honoring this nonsense practice, you will then prefer to talk and hence, no communication gap; finally a healthy ambiance.

This is the biggest problem in the corporate world as people on top are always on the safer side as compared to those who are fresh on the boat. Those on top benches will make sure that you no way talk to the seniors directly without keeping them in the loop. And, quite possibly they are sharing your pain like a joke or filthy excuses with the person concerned. If I want to leave early and at the same time another employee wants to leave, there is no point he is going to make me leave a priority. Top management is unaware of the problems and the mediator is enjoying the cake from both end. But, at the same, this biased decision is fathering negative thoughts. Who is responsible – neither management nor the employee, but the communication gap.

The ill-effects of communication gap are venomous. Be it personal or professional, in such an atmosphere where there are a lot of confusions among people about ideas, objectives, priorities, decisions, or functioning policies, expecting positivism is nothing, but a joke. People are talking to everyone, but not the concerned one. This scenario is more likely, you love a girl, but instead expressing your love to her, you are telling your feelings to someone who is either no way connected to her or wants you to suffer. Maybe he is the one who took you as an idiot who loves to talk crap all the time. You don’t know, how your message is going to be conveyed, and you expect, your lady to feel the way you want her to feel. Isn’t it funny?

Nowadays, the reason behind most of the problems – “instead talking to each other, people prefer to talk about each other.”

We all know, communication gap is the root cause of the blame-game and bitterness among relationships, which directly infringe trust building. Just because my message is not conveyed the way I wanted to, my problem may sound like a negligence. According to the studies, most of the time, years spent together proves to be the basis of trust. But, how about if I say, spending years together means the person who wants to take undue advantage of yours now know all your weak points. And, as he knows your trigger points, he will now use them as and when he wants to have your decision in his favor? He may not let you have the conversation with the right person, hence, an unhealthy atmosphere.

Most of the time people say communication gap can be avoided if people learn to behave with maturity. Let me tell you, do not confuse communication gap with maturity, as both are two different banks of a river. They look like one from far, but in reality, they are not. Maturity has nothing to do with the size of shoe and it has nothing to do with the size of your head. Maturity is about controlling your boiling point, but be it our professional life or personal life, should you poke me, then don’t expect me not to poke you back. And, another ugly truth of this world is – if I am not eating a lion that doesn’t mean lion won’t eat me either.

If you are abusing me without learning about my problems, you cannot expect a polite reaction from me either. There remains no question of maturity, once you promote immaturity.