- All couples have differences.
- These differences can affect your marriage.
- Accept the differences and compromise.
- Differences can make your marriage stronger.
When Arun met Deepika, he fell in love with her. She loved living life to the fullest, she was friendly, outgoing and adventurous. Every day was unpredictable because he never knew what would happen next. She loved to explore and discover new things, and this intrigued Arun who was more of an introvert. He didn’t talk much and Deepika was fine with it because she had found someone who listened intently to her. Deepika loved how Arun got excited when she was with him. She loved bringing him on her adventures. They were in love and it wasn’t long before they decided to get married.
After a few years of marriage, the same characteristics that attracted them to each other began to annoy them. Deepika wanted Arun to talk more, she felt he wasn’t being open to her and they weren’t communicating enough. Arun was also tired of attending all the social outings that Deepika dragged him to, most times he just wanted to stay home and read a book. Deepika began to feel that she could no longer be as adventurous as she was when she was single, while Arun felt that Deepika planned trips unpredictably and sometimes he would come home only to find out that she travelled. Their differences continued to grow and began to involve different areas of their lives.
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This is the typical cycle that occurs in almost every marriage. Couples soon find that the very differences that drew them together, threatens to rip them apart. Fundamental differences on ideologies and personality can make decision-making hard. The way a person is brought up affects how they think, and how they will make vital decisions like raising the kids, what school to send them to, and even how to talk to your partner.
There will always be differences. There are no perfect people. Every relationship works by commitment and compromise. Even if there are numerous personality differences, if you love yourselves and are willing to make the marriage work, then you both will be happy. Differences challenge individuals to grow; they make a partnership unique and sweeter. The key is identifying those differences.
Accept that your husband or wife doesn’t think or act the same way you do; this will save you a lot of worry. Try to understand your partner’s background and reasoning. You may be asking yourself why your wife is always talking to her mother, well maybe they were always close, and maybe she doesn’t think she’s hurting anyone by talking to her mom. If you feel neglected, talk to her. This is the next step, talking.
Talk about how you feel, how your partner makes you feel. This is how you work through the differences and arrive at a solution. This allows your partner to see the situation from your perspective and try to make you happy. Draw up an agreement that works, example, Arun could agree to go out with Deepika twice a week, while Deepika could agree to stay at home with him for two days as well. Compromising in this way, allows both partners to feel satisfied as their individual needs are being met.
When talking, compromising and acceptance is combined, partners become closer, feel more loved and share more, inevitably, this makes your marriage stronger. Differences are avenues to show off strengths, your partner’s difference can help in your weakness. For example, your wife may be better at keeping the bills and finances. Or the husband could be better at handling your stubborn son. Because you are different from your partner, together, as a unit, you are both better than each other.