Consequences & Regrets; life is full of these two elements. But, the worst thing that can happen to anyone is – paying a price for the others’ mistakes; perhaps the most painful feeling the man can ever feel. “what is my fault?” Life gets stuck at this one question and despite, our endless efforts of rectifying things, nothing changes. Ever noticed – why it happens with only a few of us and in most cases, with those, who want happiness all around?
We live in an atmosphere of Juniors and Seniors. Be it our workplace or private corners, we have been told to respect our seniors and elders. And, instead respecting their knowledge, we start honoring their age. Isn’t it a faulty upbringing that teaches us not to speak our heart with anyone because if we do so, without any doubt, it is going to be taken as disrespect. Should you be a person who barely speaks out, trust me, people are going to take you for granted. To the world, you are the person responsible and you will be the one to pay. Unlike other matures who can deal with their own baggage, people of this breed finds it hard.
If you are the one always made to pay a price for the others’ mistake, you need to understand the reasons behind it. The main reasons are – not taking a stand, you got no control over your emotions, you keep trying to please everyone, you are always in confusion about your priorities, you lack acumen required for judging someone, you are too much under obligations, you are around people who have trust issues, you are in love with egoistic demons and insecure personalities. As long as you will keep trying to please fastidious, bigots, self-centered, hypocrites and ruthless personalities, you cannot expect any escape. You will have to suffer because of your unselfishness and silence. Let me tell you, this is not the case with liberals because to them it is only about ‘feel-good.’
Nowadays, no one is really concerned about the fate of the relationships because everything is available at amazon; everything has a price tag. People who think relation and emotions matter, they are at a lifetime’s mistake. I have seen many cases where sons are made to evacuate their own houses just because their wives and their mothers have differences. And, at the end, it is the boy to be held responsible for every problem. This situation becomes worse when things start affecting your inner peace. Despite your efforts, you are not allowed to get out of that crap and in order to initiate a cease-fire, you put your life at a stake.
“I am just trying to be a mediator between them as I really want things to sort out.” Don’t be foolish. Mediation works only where people are ready for any sort of negotiation. We pay prices because we live with a wrong ideology. We want to make things better between two different people who are more likely north and south magnetic pole; the more you try to bring them closer, they more they ran away from each other. You can ask people to trust you, but it is their wish to do so or not. If they have already made up their mind of not trusting you, all your attempts are going to be useless. You cannot save a person’s life, who is, so eager about suicide.
Similarly, if I don’t want to see you happy just because you are with someone whom I hate the most, no matter what you do to befriend me with that person, I am not going to support and I am not going to fall for him/her. In addition, I am going to hate you for not favoring me against him/her. Finally, I will make sure that you pay the price. Quite an obvious thing, when it is about my ego and me, I am not ready to listen to anything. For me, once wrong is always wrong and I have no doubts about that. I know, I am behaving this way because of my insecurities. I know, I am wrong and not doing the right thing. But, as I said, it becomes a matter of respect for me and to me, respect is not something that you earn, but something you ask for because you are at a ‘no-loss’ position.
How can you avoid this? This is another question of debate, but the most needed one. Be it your personal life or professional, you must learn how to take a stand; a stand for your decisions, a stand for your words, and a stand for your happiness. Do not let others take away your peace, just because they want you to make sure to take care of their joys. You must learn that you cannot make everyone happy , be it our wife, be it your mother, be it your mother-in-law, be it your boss or be it your friends. Trust me when I say, stop tightening the rope of relationships; sometimes it is better to set a few people free. “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were,” they say. Same is the case here. You are made to pay the prices of others’ mistake because you represent yourself as a person most concerned.
Stop broadcasting yourself as a good man among disturbed souls; they don’t want the elixir/nectar (amrit) from you because they are already enjoying the poison. Do not forget – straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first. Have you ever heard the term called – self-made man? Try to be one. Stop accepting and expecting free favors from others. There is nothing wrong in being a little outspoken and foul-mouth especially with those who treat you like a serviette.