You have a fiery temperament? You often find yourself in situations of conflict? You often raise the tone or worse … your fist?
Anger is a normal and a most expected healthy emotion. It become the worst enemy of yours when it takes you in those dark spheres where it makes you behave like you are out of control. Chronic anger outbursts can be bring very serious consequences for your social relationships, your health, and your self-esteem. But, the sigh of relief is that even if it had sailed you the way far it can, there is still a comeback and that is not even too complicated. All it asks for – a little time to understand the reasons behind your anger. The more you improve yourself with your skills of expressing your feelings in a way more consistent with the person you want to be, the better your life will become.
Anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy to feel angry, especially when you think of being betrayed or feel like a victim of injustice. The feeling is not a problem either, unless it compels you to hurt others or yourself. People with a ‘hot’ temperament often say that they do not see any possibility of “calming the beast.” The statement is totally false. It is possible to learn how to express emotions in a way that does not hurt others. This will not only make you feel better, but you’ll be more efficient to meet your needs. The art of mastering anger is a skill that requires training. The more you practice, the better you will be. Learning to control your anger and expressing it appropriately can help you in building better relationships, achieving your goals and live a life more in line with your values.
Myths and Realities about Anger
Myth: I do not have to “stamp down” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.
Fact: While it is true that suppressing or ignoring the anger is not healthy, but letting it go is also not always advisable. Anger is not something that you have to “let-out” in an aggressive manner. Let me tell you, crises and clashes are only wood that feeds the fire of anger. And, the more violently you express it, the more disastrous results it will bring.
Myth : Anger, aggression and intimidation brings me respect and allow me to get what I want.
Reality: Harassing someone makes you weak and not strong; it won’t give you the real power. People may fear you, but they will not respect you. This harassment becomes a source of frustration and finally, a reason for long-term losses. On the other side, should you practice to watch your words before uttering, people will be more inclined to listen to you and meet your needs.
Myth: Anger is something I do not know control.
Reality: I agree that you cannot always control the situations where you are and how they badly they are affecting you, but still you can control how you express your anger. I don’t think it is too hard for anyone to express his anger without physical or verbal violence. Even if someone “pushes your buttons”, you can always choose how you’ll respond.
Myth: Anger management is all about suppressing anger.
Reality: Do not be angry is not good either. Anger is normal and it will appear the more you attempt to withdraw from it. The available anger management strategies makes you aware of the feelings that ignite anger. It tells you how to deal those feelings in a more healthy and efficient way. Rather than getting rid of the anger, the best way is – using it in a constructive way.
Myth: I never get angry. People make me angry.
Reality: This is again a myth that someone else is responsible for your anger. Let me say, your anger is created by you only and it is based on how you are grown up. In the same situation, two people will not react the same way, one can get angry, while other one may react with an indifference. Basically, it you who gets angry and because of you only.
Impacts of Anger
You probably think that letting your anger go is healthy or your anger is justified or that you have to show fangs and molest to make people comply you? You’re probably right. But does it help you move forward in the long term? However, if you do a little balancing of short-term and long-term consequences of your anger, you will realize that it is actually making you pay a huge cost. And, the consequences are far from positive.
Negative Impact of Anger on Physical Health
A high level of stress and tension is bad for your health and sometimes you may need to see a consultant if it is chronic. Chronic anger happenings increase your risk of developing cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia and high blood pressure. So, bad health.
Negative Impact of Anger on Mental Health
Chronic anger consumes considerable psychological resources, decreases your power of concentration and reflection as well as your ability to make yourself positive. It can lead to stress, depression and other mental illnesses.
Negative Impact of Anger on Career
Constructive criticism, differences in perspective, the heated debates are beneficial! To attack your colleagues, superiors or customers can only alienate and undermine the respect that you carry. A bad reputation is going to follow you wherever you go, making your life more difficult.
Negative Impact of Anger on Relationships
Anger often results in the removal of your loved ones. The intense, chronic anger, can ensure that your friends do not trust you, do not speak frankly, feels uncomfortable – people around you just do not know what will make you angry or when you lose control. Explosive anger is particularly damaging for children.
Anger Management is an art of controlling your emotion and not suppressing it. But, before that there is a lot more to understand about anger, how to determine what is behind the anger, what are the thought patterns, and how to soothe yourself. The more you learn about these, the better you will be able to cure your anger.