No woman has an abortion for fun. It is very hard to live with a pain; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Many women, who had realized that going for an abortion because of their physical, financial or emotional problems was one of the worst decision they had to take. Women in such a situation need support and understanding they deserve. These testimonies are evidences that abortion hurts and leaves painful scars; sometimes as painful as death. Here under are a few abortion confessions; stories that a few mothers want people to read and realize that abortion is not the only right solution for an unwanted pregnancy.
The day I killed you, I killed something in me as well – M.Eitire – New Zealand
I would not do it again, regardless of the opinion of others.”I aborted the child. Once he died and something in me, something that is not going to come back. So many years have been passed and I am still cursing myself for that one decision. I am living with fear in me that I cannot escape. I have nightmares; dreams of a beautiful little girl running toward me with arms outstretched. She always asks me one question; why, Mom? Why? Every single night, I woke up wet with sweat. Why only I am punished for my crime, not my ex, although he was also adept? I am not confessing this for my salvation. I am confessing this with one single motive – Wish, I could save a baby’s life.
I aborted you because I don’t want to see you dying everyday – M.Talwar – India
I was told that my unborn baby’s medical reports were showing signs of Down syndrome. I was told that this is going to cause some problems with my baby’s facial appearance or it may cause intellectual disabilities, developmental delays and may be associated with thyroid or heart disease. My family and friends advised me an abortion. It is not going to be upbringing a mentally or physically challenged baby. I made my mind and entered the death chamber. I smelled death … I avoided looking at the medical instruments. I felt like an animal led to slaughter, I had time to make a decision, the right one, but I could not take any. I closed my eyes and I felt the sting of the needle than … Then, something happened … something strange. I don’t know what happened next and next thing I remember – I was on the bed, white walls, right in front of me. I felt an overwhelming physical pain throughout the body. It was not only the pain after abortion, but something else, something that crushed me … I was wrong … terribly sorry.
Dear Baby! It was not an easy thing for mommy too. A.Grunzu – Barcelona
I just want to say something … I had an abortion this week, and it was my 19th week. I know my abortion is going to leave deep marks and painful consequences that I will be hauling with me throughout my life. It is not only remorse, but a spiritual struggle for years. The financial situation was not good enough to raise a child, plans were different and the only solution we as a couple found was “abortion.” And, I don’t know how and when killing our own little baby for whom we had endless became a very handy option, tolerable and without too much trouble. My dear baby, I am so sorry that I let the doctor slice you in pieces just because I was not prepared to welcome you, though I was very excited about bringing you. Believe me, at one point I even thought of seeing how women out of the operating room were doing, but it was too late. Sweetheart, trust me when I say, it was not at all easy for me to be objective on abortion and consider honest and correct reasons to reach such a decision, but I was helpless. Please, forgive me and please come back to me next time. Do not curse me.
It’s dark, but warm and comfortable.
I like it here because this is my mother’s womb. It’s the best in the world!
We are always together, I hear you breathing.
But, why are you afraid? It bothers me and it saddens me!
Soon it will pass, so it is, okay dear mother.
Today my mother is unwell and worried.
But, I will wait with great patience and things will be as they were before.
I love you so much, Mom! And you just love me, I know.
What happens, Mom? Why are you upset?
You know I exist that I am in you, dear mother!
Why am I so afraid? Why your heart beat is getting louder? And mine twice faster?
Something is coming … Breaking the wall!
Oh My God! Where to hide? Mother!
Mommy! I’m scared, help me! You’re my mother!
It is impossible to separate us, I will die without you! I cannot live without you! I need you!!!
Something broke my hand … Mom. Mommy, please answer.
Help me … Save me … Mom!
What this thing just told me. True? If so, it is a more hurtful mommy.
It is you who gave your permission to do this to me? Why?
Do you not want me?
Oh My God! My mother did not want me.
I want to cry … I cry … I love you so much
My baby, your birthday cake is ready – Jusnaiti – Indonesia
When I found out I was pregnant I was the worst moment of my life: my mother had just died, I found out that my husband was cheating on me with my best friend and wanted a divorce. For a brief moment, before being put in the operating room, I had a fleeting thought and suddenly, a woman in black dress approached me, “you are stupid. Do not do this stupid thing to get rid of the baby, as this abortion will haunt you all your life.” I looked at her curiously. I tried a lot to figure out who she was, but then I gave up. The surgery itself was short and painful.
I had some complications after abortion like high temperature and delirium, but my aunt told me, “nothing to worry about, these are usual.” After a few days, I had a dream of a chubby blond girl for the first time. Then, the girl turns into a monster, a screaming bloody monster, shouting at me that, “I will always be his mother, and that mother has no way to get rid of her baby.” I talked to a priest about this dream and he immediately asked, “if I had an abortion?” I confessed.
He asked me – should I see the same dream again, instead running, I must say sorry to the baby. One of nights when I felt better already and could make the difference between dream and reality, I felt something cold and wet touched me on my shoulder. When I opened my eyes I saw the child near my head. She has blue eyes, wide opened and staring at me. She held her hand on my shoulder and I literally felt her touching me with her bloody hands. I screamed with horror and I sat up. When I turned the light on, I found a blood trail on my shoulder.
When I shared this dream with the priest, he clearly told me that in his opinion such sin will never be served. I gave it all and tried to pray and the dreams stopped for a while. And I resumed my life. But, after a year aborted child appeared again in my nights. It has been five years since I am going through all this; things are going just with mathematical precision. Baby aborted tells me every time it’s her birthday and that I should make her a cake.
Once I killed you. Later you killed me. Rodica Philips – Melbourne, Australia
After the amniotic fluid had been removed, he injected 200cc of saline. From that moment, it was terrible. My baby began to struggle. It was like a boxing match. She suffered (it was a girl). The saline solution was burning her skin, her eyes, and her throat. This stifled made her sick. She was in agony, trying to escape …
For various reasons, I had never realized that with an abortion, she would die. I do not want my baby to die. I just wanted to get rid of my “problem”. I had that done this time; the problem was gone. After two years, I delivered a baby. After giving him (baby boy) birth, I took him in my hands. I looked up and down.
He had a head with hair; his eyes were awesome and closed. I watched his little feet and hands. His fingers were having nails and fingerprints. Everything was perfect. It was not a “fetus”. It was not the “product of conception.” It was a small man. But, he was silent and motionless. He was born dead. Dear God! Please forgive me for my earlier sin.